Your words have enormous power.
They are one of the most effective tools you have to get things done (or not), build relationships (or not), and get business done (or not).
What you say matters.
I bust my new coaching clients on what they are speaking about (also called describing) things all the time.
The typical response is “Matthew, I am just telling you the truth!”
And, that’s where the fun for me as a coach really begins.
Most people have convinced themselves that how they see the world is correct. They arrogantly believe that their interpretation of things is the ‘right’ way… or how things ‘really are.’
That’s a lie.
Here’s how you know:
Take your kid, your spouse or your friend to a movie.
After it’s over, ask them about the main character.
Listen to them describe that character. Listen to their perspective… to how they interpreted who the character was.
I am betting if you really listen, you will hear a description that would have NEVER occurred to you.
They use more or less detail than you.
They saw and heard things in the movie that you completely missed.
The truth is your way of describing the main character of a movie is the same AND different than others. Yes, some details are exact… but other details, interpretations and points of view are different.
And since we all see the world in a slightly different way, we are all experiencing life for our own unique perspective.
The thing is, you don’t realize this phenomenon – viewing the world through our own interpretation of the facts – is happening all the time, everywhere.
And, here’s what is even crazier: YOU MADE IT UP.
Your description of the main character is invented, and so is your kid’s, your spouse’s and your friend’s.
How you speak about what you see, learn and observe it 100% invented.
By you. And them.
It’s made up.
Now, before you start defending your interpretations as right, I want you to stop.
Stop, and think about how powerful this makes you.
Your words literally create your reality.
It’s an awesome power that you either don’t know you have, aren’t willing to admit you have, or you don’t take seriously.
Those are mistakes can be corrected – if you know how.
Here’s all I want you to get out of this email: I just want you to understand that your words… the way you describe things… is creating your reality.
Once you start to take 100% responsibility for the way you speak, the more you will begin to use your words as a power tool to create the life you want.
For now, just sit with the idea that you have the power to speak about something in a different way.
You can call good, bad. Tragic, a blessing. A missed opportunity your greatest gift.
In the coming days and weeks, I am going to tell you more about HOW you can learn the skill (yes, it is a skill) of using your language to your advantage, and drastically reduce the amount of time it takes for you to accomplish, achieve and experience the things that mean the most to you.
I am working on a never-before-offered opportunity that, if you are ready, will transform the way you interpret the things around you.
It’s very powerful stuff… Designed to show you exactly how powerful you really are.
More to come…
You have goals you want to achieve.
You have things you want buy.
You have trips to take, hobbies to do, people to see…
Let’s be honest.
There are times when you wish things were different, right?
Now, let’s be REALLY honest.
There are times when you blame your existing for life being in the way of the life you really want.
And that sucks.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
In fact, I am about to show you exactly how to take your existing life, and remove the crap that is distracting and blocking you from going after your ideal life.
Once the distractions and the blocks are gone, things just get easier.
In fact, when you remove the distractions and the blocks, you create the space for your ideal life to happen.
Right now, your life contains some things that you really don’t want.
It’s time to clean house and make room for the things that you DO want.
Are you ready?
#1. Stop resisting how things are.
Resisting is the #1 way to MAKE SURE what you don’t want, stays put. Your focus on it is like building vault around what you don’t want. Ick.
#2. Start accepting what is.
Realize that whatever you are resisting simply isn’t your preference, and that’s OK. Knowing what you don’t want is a powerful way to clarify what you DO want.
#3. Make up a new meaning that empowers you.
Your kids pissing you off? Use their behavior as a way to discover how to be the parent you want to be.
Buried in debt? Use it as way to become resourceful and creative about how to get yourself into financial integrity.
Start to use what you don’t want as a stepping stone to the life you DO want…
1. Find a new meaning the things you don’t like. Stop resisting. Start accepting and then take action from that new perspective.
2. Give up that you know how things are supposed to be. Go into a state of appreciation for how things are (even the “bad” stuff) and you being to eliminate it as a block.
3. To completely eliminate the impact of something that is blocking you, go into a state of gratitude.
Gratitude is the ultimate way to get what you want. When you are in a grateful, non-resistant state you literally create space for the things you want to show up.
Can I prove it?
This week, I want you to be grateful for EVERYTHING.
Red lights slowing you down. Your kid’s temper tantrums. Debt. Mean people… whatever you resist.
Whatever you think sucks, I want you to turn the tables on it.
Appreciate it for what it is, and be grateful that it gives you the opportunity to decide how you will respond.
1 week… that’s all I ask.
Do this for one week, and see what happens.
I am betting that in 7 short days, things will be easier. Small miracles will start happening. You will be more at peace… even if it’s just a little.
This week, accept and have gratitude.
And watch as your ideal life starts to unfold before your eyes.
Let’s do this.
“Mommy why do you cut off the ends of the ham?” Suzy asked one Thanksgiving Day while helping make dinner for the family. “Oh honey, we always cut off the ends of the ham before we bake it. But I am not sure why, let me ask grandma.”
Suzy’s mom walked into the living room where her mom was watching TV and asked “Hey mom, why do we cut off the end of the ham before baking it for Thanksgiving dinner?”
“I don’t know, she replied. Let me call your aunt Helen in Cleveland. She might know.”
So, Suzy’s grandma, her mom’s mom, got on the phone and called her sister.
“Hey sis, why do we cut off the ends of the ham before we put it in the oven for Thanksgiving?”
“Simple. In the two bedroom house where we grew up, the oven was too small, so mom would cut off the ends to make it fit. I guess the habit just stuck.”
Today, my question for you is simple: Where are you cutting off the ends of the ham and you don’t know why?
Where are you following rules that don’t exist?
Where are you doing things that made sense for someone else in your family that makes NO sense for you?
Where are you expecting OTHERS to do things the way you do, but you aren’t really sure why?
Start investing why you do the things you do, and you will start to discover that you’ve been limiting yourself…. limiting your dreams, limiting your actions, limiting how you think your life should go.
Today, just start to notice… that’s step 1.
Let’s do this.
“You vote with your time” is one of Kristen’s favorite sayings.
And she’s right.
The fastest way learn about someone is to understand what they DO, not what they SAY…
Which is a bizarre paradox… given so much of our life is what we speak about.
When we speak about what we don’t want, we tend to get it (have you noticed?)
When we speak about what we do want, we tend to get that instead.
So, what’s the connection?
Simple. What you say, and what you do create your day, your week, your month and your year.
Most people speak one way, and act another.
And they wonder why they are stuck.
Today, I want you to think about where you are saying one thing, and acting another.
Are you saying you want to increase your health, and eating sugary, fatty foods?
Are you saying for more love in your life, and treating others with disrespect or a lack of kindness?
Are you saying you want to make more money, but spending the money you have irresponsibility?
It’s time to start voting with our time AND our words.
It’s time to get both our speaking and our actions sync’d up.
Do that, and everything gets easier.
In the end, it’s YOUR LIFE. You get to create it however you want.
(You are 100% in charge, remember?)
I’ve discovered that when I focus on getting my words and my actions lined up, everything seems to work better.
And the same is true for you.
Shoot me an email and let me know what you are going to start voting for with your time, and voting for with your words.
Have a great weekend!
Here are some simple techniques you can use now.
Quick video… it’s under 3 minutes.