Feeling stuck? Fear stopping you?

The Worst Case Scenario Exercise to the rescue! Go through this process when you are feeling stuck… when you are resisting something… or you just can’t figure out what is standing in your way.

    1. Write out the worst possible thing that could happen.
    2. Make a plan to move forward after the worst possible thing happens.  Don’t make a plan to avoid the worst case, that will just give The Drunk Monkey more power over you.
    3. Make peace with the worst case scenario.  Make a promise to yourself that if it happens, you will deal with it and survive it.

Once you show The Drunk Monkey that you CAN and WILL survive the worst thing happening, it can begin to chill out.

Advanced Level: Next write out what you are grateful for now. Shift your energy back into an effective state by focusing on what works about your life, what you are happy about and what you like – now.

This doesn’t mean you don’t want more. It simply means that you are acknowledging and appreciating what IS. From this new place you can take new, more effective action.

Try these techniques the next time you are feeling stuck.

One of my favorite books is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

Agreement #1 is Be Impeccable with Your Word.

Today, give that idea some thought.

Consider that your words created your experience.

How you describe situations… how you talk… how you share about what is occurring in your life actually CREATES your life.

And that’s really cool for this simple reason: at any time you can shift the conditions of your life toward what you really want.

Let me give you some examples of responsible ways of relating to situations that you might not have considered before:

“I am grateful for this debt. Doing what it takes to get out of it is a catalyst to discover what I am capable of.”

“Not getting that deal gives me the opportunity to work on my presentation, and nail it next time.”

“Choosing to accept my friends anger allows me to be strong while she is weak, and not participate in the drama.”

When you are impeccable with your word you are at choice. You are being intentional. You are treating your words like they have power, because they do.

This is a master mindset skill worth developing.

 

Complaining is selfish. Gossiping is counter-productive. Getting upset is a waste of time.

So why do you indulge in these negative habits that strip your happiness, and distract you from taking action on the things you really want?

Simple.

The Drunk Monkey is running the show.

Let’s be honest. When you go into states of upset… when you waste time talking about others… when you bitch and moan about how things “are” (The Drunk Monkey’s interpretation of your life), you are actually screwing yourself.

If you look closely, you will see these destructive habits occupy space – head space, time space. They actual BLOCK you from enjoying what you have, and investing the time it takes to achieve more.

Plus, your destructive habits are irritating to the people in your life. And secretly, they wish you would get it together.

Let me give you an example.

My son has a habit of getting very upset at inconvenient times. He’s the kind of kid who attempts to keep it all in, and then explodes when he can’t keep all his negative emotions to himself any more.

The other night we are all playing a board game, and he gets triggered. His Drunk Monkey decided that everyone was picking on him in the game (it’s a game of strategy) and slowly he starts to see the game as a personal attack. His mood slowly shifts, he starts not really playing, but refuses to be honest, and stop. So the rest of us have to deal with a “non-player” player who really isn’t interested in being at the table.

Then it happens.

Someone says something, and he explodes.

Yelling, screaming, he stomps upstairs spewing hurtful words in an attempt to injure the people he loves. His behavior is not fun to be around and it is insanely selfish. It’s the ultimate “hey, it’s all about me” egotism at work.

Here my kid, who has incredible skills and is very emotionally intelligent, allowed The Drunk Monkey to run the show. He longer cares about the game, his family, his manners, and the behaviors that are appropriate for the situation his is in.

Nope, he goes into the most self-indulgent state you can… the “I am pissed and you have to deal with it” mode.

And what he doesn’t yet understand that this self-indulgent behavior costs him massively. It costs his well-being and emotional health. I costs him having deep relationships with friends at school who don’t like when he has an outburst (while I am sure he is more in control at school, the underlying strategies he uses when he is upset are still intact) and it costs him being able to participate in fun things – because he is teaching us that he’s no fun to play with. So, even though we are his family, we have to really decide if we want to subject ourselves to his insanity the next time we play a game.

So, I have a question…

Where in your life are you letting your destructive habits block you? Where are your destructive habits costing you?

You may not be as overt in your behavior as my son. But, I know you waste time sharing your opinions, talking about your fears, and giving your point of view that you think is SO important that others must be exposed to it.

As a result, you waste away your day on things that keep you from focusing on what you want.

Today, I invite you to look for the destructive habits that you are addicted to, and then ask: is this habit moving me towards or away from the things most important in my life?

This is the first step to taking back control from The Drunk Monkey.

 

 

 

 

The moment you are for something, or against it you limit your options. When you have limited options, you have limited power.

“They shouldn’t act that way” “I don’t like that” “I wish things were different.” Each of these statements, even if a fleeting thought, create a position for and against whatever you are commenting on.

What every few people understand is that when The Drunk Monkey shares its opinions, people step back. They are less likely to include you in projects and opportunities because secretly they are afraid your opinions are going to be pointed like a loaded gun at them someday. As a result you have less power to get things done, and you have to resort to using force to make things happen.

Using force to get what you want takes tremendous effort and is not sustainable. Conversely, having power allows you to move things forward with less effort and more ease.

So, today just notice how your mind is designed to be for and against everything, all the time.

And instead practice being in a more neutral state. Noticing, appreciating, accepting how things are and then taking action from there.

Your goals, dreams and plans move faster when you are not held back by the opinions that limit you.

I started writing songs again. (If fact, in the past 3 months I’ve manifested a singer/songwriter partner and two producers. We have 3 songs in production right now. Plus, we’ve been offered a full recording studio to use in the coming weeks and months.)

Ideas for lyrics come all the time… while working, while driving, while having dinner. Here’s this mornings ideas…

If you see the dark then you chose the dark.

If you see the gloom, then you chose the gloom

If your world is painted black then you are holding the brush

Not sure if these lyrics will make it into a song or not. But I like the radical level of personal accountability that they represent.

How I first learned about the power of my mind

My mentor’s mentor, Earl Nightingale, taught that you become what you think about.

It started for me when I was 5.

You see, my dad Mike Ferry worked for Mr. Nightingale selling records of the most famous motivational talk ever burned onto vinyl.

And one day while at our home in Newport Beach he sat me on his lap, and he asked me what I wanted the most. “A bike,” I answered.

He then told me to find a picture and post it on the refrigerator.

I did.

Soon, I had the bike.

That was the beginning of it all.

Truth is, our thoughts are very powerful. They create our mood, our experience, and even the physical results we experience in our lives.

Over the past two decades, thanks to my Mr. Nightingale, I’ve taught thousands to imagine and then take action to manifest their wildest dreams.

What you thinking about these days? What are your goals?

Write them down now. Don’t wait.

Here’s a photo of the record that changed it all – The Strangest Secret. This is the album my dad used to sell for Mr. Nightingale.

My copy is kept safe and sound in my office. It’s a reminder of the day over four decades ago that changed my life.

The Strangest Secret Album Cover

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As a life coach, it is my job to help people move from negative states to positive states. Now, life is not necessarily negative at all; it’s just our opinion that makes life negative. To change your life for the positive now, one of the first things that you must take into account, is that you have created opinions about how life shouldn’t be this way, and that opinion then creates a negative state for you.

You feel frustrated, you feel annoyed, you feel agitated, upset, angry. These are all negative states that occur when your opinion is contradicted.

To change your life for the positive right now, you must begin to take responsibility for the opinion that you have created about life and how life shouldn’t be the way that it is, that it should be some other way.

Now, let’s be honest. Life should not be some other way. Life is the way it is. People are the way they are, and then you resist them. Your resistance makes you upset, angry, and then rather than taking responsibility for that your opinion has been contradicted, you instead blame the other person.

When you blame the other person, you create even more negativity in your life. On top of that, you make a fatal mistake, and that mistake is that you declare that life or people, or something outside of you makes you feel negative or upset.

This is not the truth. It is an illusion, and really, it’s a manipulation. You’re the one who chooses to feel bad. You’re the one who chooses to feel upset. To take responsibility for it will change your life for the positive right now.

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Successful people realize that success does not bring happiness. Happiness is the next journey for most successful people. Early on, most top performers equate that success will fill the void within them and show the world that they are valuable. Sorry to say, it doesn’t happen. Happiness takes a different set of skills, disciplines, systems and procedures.

Here are the first three steps to getting on the path of true happiness:

Step One: You must see the mind, which I call The Drunk Monkey, for what it really is. The Drunk Monkey, all that talking in your head, is just biology. It’s energy moving through fields of neurons in your brain. It’s job is the same as all the other cells in your body… Keep you alive longer!

Here’s the big problem; you are not in a dangerous situation. If you are reading this article, you are seeking happiness. People seeking happiness are not trying to survive. Yet, I would be willing to bet, you feel emotions like frustration, anger, doubt and fear pretty frequently. Those emotions are chemicals used by the brain to move you away from danger. Hello! Your life is not dangerous and yet, you let The Drunk Monkey trick you into thinking that it is. Awareness is a skill that must be developed if happiness is your goal.

Step Two: With awareness comes flexibility. Being flexible means you start to use some discernment. You no longer take The Drunk Monkey’s statements about reality as truth. You start to see that the talking in your head is just one particular point of view. As soon as you see that the thoughts in your head are not “the truth,” you become more flexible. When you are more flexible, you are less reactive. To be less reactive gives you more choices. More choices represent more power over the situation. In other words, awareness makes you flexible, which makes new options available and those options give you power. Empowerment is one of the ten forms of happiness.

Step Three: Practice accepting things as they are. This is a discipline. It’s the exact opposite of your normal mental functioning. When you pay attention to The Drunk Monkey, you see that it has an opinion on everything; including things it knows nothing about. The Drunk Monkey says, “He shouldn’t be that way!” or “This is not right!” To create true happiness, you must recognize that these are just opinions. Even more important, is to realize that opinions are the source of your suffering. Life is just “life-ing” along and your opinion about it won’t change it. To accept the situation as it is, gives you the emotional well being you need to focus on what really matters to you. To allow The Drunk Monkey to ramble endlessly about how things should be different, is a waste of time and energy. Ultimately it degrades your experience of life.

There are ten forms of happiness and each will lead you to a life of ridiculous bliss. Start practicing the three steps today and you will notice an immediate difference.