Complaining is selfish. Gossiping is counter-productive. Getting upset is a waste of time.
So why do you indulge in these negative habits that strip your happiness, and distract you from taking action on the things you really want?
The Drunk Monkey is running the show.
Let’s be honest. When you go into states of upset… when you waste time talking about others… when you bitch and moan about how things “are” (The Drunk Monkey’s interpretation of your life), you are actually screwing yourself.
If you look closely, you will see these destructive habits occupy space – head space, time space. They actual BLOCK you from enjoying what you have, and investing the time it takes to achieve more.
Plus, your destructive habits are irritating to the people in your life. And secretly, then wish you would get it together.
Let me give you an example.
My son has a habit of getting very upset at inconvenient times. He’s the kind of kid who attempts to keep it all in, and then explodes when he can’t keep all his negative emotions to himself any more.
The other night we are all playing a board game, and he gets triggered. His Drunk Monkey decided that everyone was picking on him in the game (it’s a game of strategy) and slowly he starts to see the game as a personal attack. His mood slowly shifts, he starts not really playing, but refuses to be honest, and stop. So the rest of us have to deal with a “non-player” player who really isn’t interested in being at the table.
Then it happens.
Someone says something, and he explodes.
Yelling, screaming, he stomps upstairs spewing hurtful words in an attempt to injure the people he loves. His behavior is not fun to be around and it is insanely selfish. It’s the ultimate “hey, it’s all about me” egotism at work.
Here my kid, who has incredible skills and is very emotionally intelligent, allowed The Drunk Monkey to run the show. He longer cares about the game, his family, his manners, and the behaviors that are appropriate for the situation his is in.
Nope, he goes into the most self-indulgent state you can… the “I am pissed and you have to deal with it” mode.
And what he doesn’t yet understand that this self-indulgent behavior costs him massively. It costs his well-being and emotional health. I costs him having deep relationships with friends at school who don’t like when he has an outburst (while I am sure he is more in control at school, the underlying strategies he uses when he is upset are still intact) and it costs him being able to participate in fun things – because he is teaching us that he’s no fun to play with. So, even though we are his family, we have to really decide if we want to subject ourselves to his insanity the next time we play a game.
So, I have a question…
Where in your life are you letting your destructive habits block you? Where are your destructive habits costing you?
You may not be as overt in your behavior as my son. But, I know you waste time sharing your opinions, talking about your fears, and giving your point of view that you think is SO important that others must be exposed to it.
As a result, you waste away your day on things that keep you from focusing on what you want.
Today, I invite you to look for the destructive habits that you are addicted to, and then ask: is this habit moving me towards or away from the things most important in my life?
This is the first step to taking back control from The Drunk Monkey.