Monkey's got your back

Your parents!

Your in-laws!

Your siblings!

Your children!

Lions and tigers and bears…oh my!

Instead of reacting to people this holiday, see The Drunk Monkey for what it really is: a biological mechanism designed to steer you away from danger.

Notice that a difference of opinion from your mother-in-law is not dangerous.  See The Drunk Monkey reacting as if it is life or death.  Your blood boils, you get frustrated, you get catty, annoyed, pissed off, agitated.  All of these emotions are signs that The Drunk Monkey perceives danger.  Your relatives and friends are not dangerous.  They are just different.

Different is Not Dangerous

Now, let’s step back.  If you were a caveman/woman and you were faced with another human that behaved differently then you, then different would be dangerous.  HELLO!  You are not a prehistoric, so stop acting like one.

Notice how everyone is just doing the best they can over the holidays.

In my last post, I discussed a question I got from a client regarding the positive power of negativity.  After reading my post he responded with this,

“I guess my problem is that I choose to suffer, get pissed off, become the victim, scream, ‘Why me!!!’ or go into a state of hopelessness…”

Here’s my response:

It’s not your problem that YOU choose to suffer, get pissed off, become the victim, scream, “Why me!” or go into a state of hopelessness… It’s your Drunk Monkey’s problem.  The problem you have is that you think what The Drunk Monkey is doing is important, real and valid.

With further examination you discover the what The Drunk Monkey does is just automatic biology.  No different then pooping.  You don’t make pooping mean anything.  It’s stinky, nasty and inconvenient.  You just accept that your body does this and you make room for it in your life.  So it is with your thoughts.  They are angry, judging, vengeful, upset, pissed off, worried, annoyed etc.  This is all a mechanism for avoiding potential danger.  The only problem is, you are not in danger.

Give The Drunk Monkey Space

So you just give The Drunk Monkey the space it needs to whine and complain, make everything and everyone wrong and be worried.  Then you just go about your day, skipping, happy-go-lucky… knowing that The Drunk Monkey is just doing its job, in a world where it has become irrelevant.

A client read my 2009 Prophecy Letter recently and was perplexed by this statement that I’d made in the letter.

“I have really mastered the use of negative experiences to my advantage. I can see more clearly then ever that negativity is awesome! So much good happens when something bad happens. So many new opportunities come out of the chaos and destruction.”

He asks, “How can I benefit from my negative experiences?  Since my mind focuses on these – maybe I can use them to my advantage?”

In the end negativity is very very positive.  It is where growth occurs.  If you didn’t have negative experiences in life you would not have new desires, new hopes and dreams.  Forward movement is often in response to the awareness of backward movement.

Over the years I’ve seen that breakdown is the beginning of break through.  I have taught my clients to celebrate when bad things happen.  I’ve seen tens of thousands of examples when something bad happens, if looked at correctly, something even more positive happens on the other side.

Why Is Negative Negative Anyway?

Something is only negative when you resist it.  What you resist will persist.  What you accept will transform.  There is a hidden positive in every negative.  Napoleon Hill said it this way:

“There is the seed of equivalent benefit in every adversity.”

The key word here is “seed”.  You must harvest the equivalent benefit.  You can’t expect every negative to turn out positive.  If you choose to suffer, get pissed off, become the victim, scream, “Why me!” or go into a state of hopelessness, then you will not harvest the seed of equivalent benefit.

In the end, negative experiences are only negative because you resist them.  If you embrace them as a part of life and find the good, find the lesson, find the new perspective, find the shift in behavior, then life starts to really get fun.  Everyone has aspects of life that they don’t like.  I’ve learned to see beyond my reaction and embrace the negative as a valuable part of my life experience.  I encourage you to do the same.

“Just visualize it!” is what so many say.

“Good Luck!” That’s what I say.

Visualizing has been taken out of context.

The many great men and women who told us about visualizing produced spectacular results. Taken out of context people began to assume that if you visualize, then you will get those results too. Not true.

Visualizing is the beginning of the creation process but it is not a magic answer. When mega producers, elite athletes, and geniuses of the past have espoused the power of visualizing, they included it as a part of their process. Not the whole process. It’s the beginning of something you are going to create. Everything begins in the mind. Thoughts DO become things if you do the work to bring them into existence.

Little things like butterflies and parking spaces are easy to manifest, just visualize.

The universe is a creative place. To prove this to yourself, visualize a blue butterfly right now and then notice how you start seeing butterflies everywhere in the next couple days.

Manifesting major stuff like one million dollars takes a full physical, mental, emotional, spiritual alignment. Yes, some have visualized a million bucks and it happened by winning the lottery, but that is not replicable. Odds are not in your favor. Brilliant men and women of the past have showed us that visualizing the end result combined with doing the work, stacks the odds in your favor.

You ever try to visualize a million bucks?  I know I have. Did it drop in my lap the very next week? No! It took 15 years to understand my relationship to the world in such a way that I could harvest millions of dollars from my existence here on Earth. But first I had to see it in my mind. If I didn’t do that part, I never would have done the work to make it happen. Everything that has ever come to be via human hands started in the mind.

Visualizing is just one aspect of the the creation process.

It’s the first of many steps. When Michelangelo envisioned the David he didn’t expect it to spring out of the granite all by itself. He knew that his vision was of the end game and his job was to discover the process and implement it. If you are not a skilled sculptor, then manifesting your vision is going to be tough. Not impossible. In your life, if you can see it, you can create it. There is no magic to this.

Many people believe that visualizing outcomes that you have no expertise in will cause the outcome to occur regardless of your relationship to it. Not true. If you have a vision for a new business, there will be a lot more to it than just visualizing it. To see it clearly in your mind will simply lead you on a journey of discovering the process of manifesting your vision. You will begin to understand the beliefs, skills, disciplines, systems, procedures, relationships, and support structures necessary to manifest your vision. Depending on how close you are, it could take one day or a lifetime.

The mistake is believing that visualizing will replace the process of learning, growing, implementing, failing, trial and error, and building.

So what do you do if where you are today is not even close to where you want to be? You must manifest the right people, teachers, process, understanding and systems. For that, I’ve developed an eight-step process that works great. See the videos here.

As a life coach I have seen first hand that you get what you put out. If things aren’t working… if you are stuck… if you experience negativity in your life, then you are putting it out there via your thoughts and behavior.

Many of my clients believe that their negativity is justified and therefore necessary. For example, one of my clients was fired from her real estate company for doing too many deals. It made the other agents feel insecure and the management decided to let her go to create harmony in their office again.

This agent started her own company and has been in a dry spell for 6 months. When she came to me she was desperate to get her deals flowing again. Like most top producers, she tried to double her efforts to jump start her business again, to no avail.

During our life coaching conversations we uncovered that she felt deeply rejected by her last company and was determined to get revenge by doing better then ever. From this negatively-focused place she brought back upon her the very thing she wished for her former colleagues.

I helped her through the forgiveness process, she let it go and the deal flow started to gush!

Have I impacted your life in a positive way?

Because, if I have… and … if you are willing to give me a video testimonial, then I would like to send you a powerful audio training program as a gift.

Click here for all the details:  http://matthewferry.com/video-testimonials/

Thank you for taking the time to support me in spreading the word about these life-transforming techniques.

I couldn’t do it without you.

You are truly a blessing to me,

Matthew Ferry

iStock_000002929163MediumLife alters to fit with your commitments.  Most people believe that you must alter yourself to fit with life.  This is not true.  The good news is that life will adjust itself to you.  You are the creator of your experience and not the victim of your circumstances.

After coaching more than 8000 people to achieve happiness and success, I’ve measured the goal achievement process and found that a person who is in a clear mental place and focused on the goal can accomplish as much as 80% of the goals he/she writes down.  Can you imagine?  If you knew that 80% of what you wrote down would happen, wouldn’t you write more down?  Of course you would.  So here is what I suggest you do.

A Special Business Plan For Your Life

Each year I have my clients create a plan for their life.  It’s not the same as a business plan because it’s more experiential.  I have my clients describe the quality of their existence along with the specific measurable results they want to achieve.

The first step is to create a vision letter.  In your imagination, stand one year in the future and look back over the year.  Describe in detail your life as if it had already happened perfectly.  Create detailed descriptions in the following categories: your physical health, your mental/emotional state, spirituality, family life, primary relationship, business, personal finances, social life, recreational activities, and the contributions you made.  The key is to describe it as if it has already happened.

The second step is to break down the actionable results you described into the four quarters of the year.  Some of the results you described had actions that must be taken in the first quarter in order to produce the results in the fourth quarter.  Don’t worry about planning each quarter in advance.  Just start with the first quarter.  What needs to get done?  What do you need to start working on?  What do you need to learn about?  Who do you need to meet?

In the coaching program we look at this list of goals every couple weeks and create mini-action plans to get them done.  It’s fun! Your life becomes your creation versus a reaction.  Try it today.

istock_000005107871mediumIt is interesting how The Drunk Monkey takes over your spirituality and tells you that not making money is somehow righteous and spiritual.

Its a double-edged sword.  When you don’t make any money, life is a lot more difficult and you must use your spiritual principles just to maintain basic happiness in the middle of unworkability.

Consider: The Drunk Monkey takes over your spirituality and uses it as your reason for not confronting your fears and manifesting your desires.  Instead of reaching your full potential, full creation as a human being, you cower and hide behind a mask of righteous spirituality.

What’s your opinion on this?

One of my clients wrote, “I have a problem with this man that was going to pay me $200. Now he wants to buy product for me instead of giving me the money.  I know this is not a person I should be doing business anymore because he does not keep his word.  I know the amount is small. What I feel angry about is that he told me I would get this money and now he wants to do what he wants with it and not give me the cash. Part of me wants to put a complaint in the company to let them know how unethical he is and at the same time… I don’t want to regret this. Not just for this at this moment, I know I need to not drag crap and let it run my life like living rent free in my head.”

The anger you feel is like drinking your own poison.  The man is just doing what he’s doing and then you are allowing your broken expectations to pull you into negativity.  Negativity is the resistance you have to how life actually is.

Anger Degrades You, Not Them

Anger, hate, frustration and annoyance are signs that your body believes danger is present.  You must learn to take a few deep breaths and remind The Drunk Monkey in your head that situations like the one mentioned above are not actually dangerous and therefore they do not warrant filling your body full of fight and flight chemicals.  Negative feelings do not allow you to think or respond powerfully.

For my friend above, the action step is simple but not easy.  With out any anger or attachment to the outcome you must clearly communicate what you want i.e. “Giving me product instead of the cash does not work for me and is a breach of our agreement.  By when can I expect to be paid the cash that is owed me.”

Now it’s in God/Universe/Source hands.  Let it go and allow new good things into your life.  Or the focus on what you don’t have will stop the flow of the new stuff you want.