A client read my 2009 Prophecy Letter recently and was perplexed by this statement that I’d made in the letter.
“I have really mastered the use of negative experiences to my advantage. I can see more clearly then ever that negativity is awesome! So much good happens when something bad happens. So many new opportunities come out of the chaos and destruction.”
He asks, “How can I benefit from my negative experiences? Since my mind focuses on these – maybe I can use them to my advantage?”
In the end negativity is very very positive. It is where growth occurs. If you didn’t have negative experiences in life you would not have new desires, new hopes and dreams. Forward movement is often in response to the awareness of backward movement.
Over the years I’ve seen that breakdown is the beginning of break through. I have taught my clients to celebrate when bad things happen. I’ve seen tens of thousands of examples when something bad happens, if looked at correctly, something even more positive happens on the other side.
Why Is Negative Negative Anyway?
Something is only negative when you resist it. What you resist will persist. What you accept will transform. There is a hidden positive in every negative. Napoleon Hill said it this way:
“There is the seed of equivalent benefit in every adversity.”
The key word here is “seed”. You must harvest the equivalent benefit. You can’t expect every negative to turn out positive. If you choose to suffer, get pissed off, become the victim, scream, “Why me!” or go into a state of hopelessness, then you will not harvest the seed of equivalent benefit.
In the end, negative experiences are only negative because you resist them. If you embrace them as a part of life and find the good, find the lesson, find the new perspective, find the shift in behavior, then life starts to really get fun. Everyone has aspects of life that they don’t like. I’ve learned to see beyond my reaction and embrace the negative as a valuable part of my life experience. I encourage you to do the same.
2 Comments
Hey Matthew … this is So Profound it is Silly! I had one of my my biggest lessons in life through a very negative experience. I was selling cars at a very reputable dealer here in Los Angeles, I was Top salesperson, gross and volume 22 out of 23 months. Every month I won the bonus, this particular month (September) it was a Folding Mountain Bike. The GM (General Manager) used to make remarks about customers and was also a preacher, one day I got pissed off and called him a hypocrite. So the GM said I wasn’t getting my bonus that month because of my comment to him. In January I was planning on leaving and going into Real Estate anyways, so I put in my two week notice that evening, thinking that would be a negotiation technique. Boy was I wrong! The next morning I got in at my usual time, before everyone else and began my calls. The GM came in my office and told me to get my F’ing blankety-blank off of his lot. For the next 15 minutes he was behind me yelling and screaming at me, ripping me up one side and down another, you worthless pile of blank, you get the idea. Once I got all my stuff and got out of there I was raging in emotion, what was I to do? I wasn’t ready financially, emotionally, mentally, or in any way. So I went home explained everything to my wife and we made a pact to make this work. I went to the local Re/Max that day and signed on. My wife and I went to Home Depot and bought the material to turn our four foot by six foot laundry room into my office as it was not enclosed. I didn’t have the funds to buy a desk, so I bought two by fours and particle board and built a desk! Long story short, each and every day I used that experience and the demeaning experience to motivate me to be successful! One of the things he said was I make $250,000 a year, you’ll never make that amount of money in your life! Well, year one I sold 24 homes and year two I made over $250,000 by using his negative energy to fuel my fire! But the greatest feeling was when I called him to Thank him, he was so caught off guard it was funny, this whole time he thought I was mad at him. He didn’t get it and asked, why are you thanking me? I told him that because of you I have a better life now, I used your negative energy to surpass what you said I could not do and I owe you a Huge Thank you! He still didn’t get it. We have reconciled our differences and speak on a regular basis now. If you can learn to transpose a negative situation to a positive one, you will not only be free but you will be unstoppable! Matthew, thank you for this post, because I now need to draw from this and another very recent experience again, right now in my life to propel myself to the next level! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! To a POWERFUL and PRODUCTIVE day! KJ
I love what you said, “Something is only negative when you resist it. What you resist will persist. What you accept will transform. There is a hidden positive in every negative.”
I completely agree with this statement! I wish more people can turn to the brighter side and literally laugh at a negative situation. This is that ‘action’ part. I think you had a blog post that was titled your brain is not your friend’. Well, once you take action with a simple laugh and move on, that negative situation turns positive. What is more positive than a laugh?
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