Dated:
December 24, 2009 – 10:19 am
Monkey's got your back
Your parents!
Your in-laws!
Your siblings!
Your children!
Lions and tigers and bears…oh my!
Instead of reacting to people this holiday, see The Drunk Monkey for what it really is: a biological mechanism designed to steer you away from danger.
Notice that a difference of opinion from your mother-in-law is not dangerous. See The Drunk Monkey reacting as if it is life or death. Your blood boils, you get frustrated, you get catty, annoyed, pissed off, agitated. All of these emotions are signs that The Drunk Monkey perceives danger. Your relatives and friends are not dangerous. They are just different.
Different is Not Dangerous
Now, let’s step back. If you were a caveman/woman and you were faced with another human that behaved differently then you, then different would be dangerous. HELLO! You are not a prehistoric, so stop acting like one.
Notice how everyone is just doing the best they can over the holidays.
Popularity: 5% [?]
Dated:
December 23, 2009 – 10:05 am
In my last post, I discussed a question I got from a client regarding the positive power of negativity. After reading my post he responded with this,
“I guess my problem is that I choose to suffer, get pissed off, become the victim, scream, ‘Why me!!!’ or go into a state of hopelessness…”
Here’s my response:
It’s not your problem that YOU choose to suffer, get pissed off, become the victim, scream, “Why me!” or go into a state of hopelessness… It’s your Drunk Monkey’s problem. The problem you have is that you think what The Drunk Monkey is doing is important, real and valid.
With further examination you discover the what The Drunk Monkey does is just automatic biology. No different then pooping. You don’t make pooping mean anything. It’s stinky, nasty and inconvenient. You just accept that your body does this and you make room for it in your life. So it is with your thoughts. They are angry, judging, vengeful, upset, pissed off, worried, annoyed etc. This is all a mechanism for avoiding potential danger. The only problem is, you are not in danger.
Give The Drunk Monkey Space
So you just give The Drunk Monkey the space it needs to whine and complain, make everything and everyone wrong and be worried. Then you just go about your day, skipping, happy-go-lucky… knowing that The Drunk Monkey is just doing its job, in a world where it has become irrelevant.
Popularity: 4% [?]
Dated:
October 31, 2009 – 4:32 pm
What makes you nervous? Usually it is some future The Drunk Monkey in your head is obsessing over. The way to get relaxed is to see it for what it is. The Drunk Monkey in your head, all that talking, is just trying to keep you alive longer by avoiding potentially negative experiences. This is great! Good Job Monkey! The problem happens when it fantasizes about negative futures that don’t even exist. Or when it compares you to some elusive set of standards that don’t exist. Here’s an example:
Lately The Drunk Monkey, my mind, has been telling me that I need to write a new book now and get it published. That if I don’t do this I will lose some elusive window of opportunity. The Drunk Monkey has been saying, “You need to pick your subject and do it or you’ll just be a nobody for the rest of your life!” As you can imagine, lately I’ve felt a little anxious.
The Drunk Monkey has been holding me accountable to some standard that doesn’t exist. Probably because my brother, Tom Ferry, just signed a big publishing deal and is gung ho and excited about it. The Drunk Monkey is comparing me to him and saying, “If he does it, then you better do it or you will really be a nobody!”
Here’s what I say to The Drunk Monkey so that I can relax and let it flow again. “Drunk Monkey, have you seen my life? I’ve got a lot of amazing things happening right now. I’ve got A B C D (I make a big list) and all of those things are awesome! Could I write a book? Yes! Probably 4 different books at this moment! But am I in the book business? No!! I’m in the coaching business. I’m building my coaching company Monkey!!! Hello!! Very different business. Drunk Monkey, when the time is right, I promise to write you a book so you can be big and famous and have millions of adoring fans. In the mean time I’ going to enjoy every minute of my current objectives!”
So what is that? Get real about what is working now. What you like now. What makes you happy now. Don’t let The Drunk Monkey cause you stress by fantasizing that the future is bleak. Don’t let The Drunk Monkey hold you accountable to things that aren’t even real or important. Be clear on what you want and what you are committed too.
Try the 10/10 visualization everyday. That always helps you stay in a good place.
Popularity: 7% [?]
Dated:
October 29, 2009 – 9:07 am
My clients are generally the biggest of the big in their respective industries. Each of them has created massive success. Yet the process they used to get there often seems inapplicable to the other aspects of life, like happiness or peace. The process is the same. You must create structures, systems, disciplines and processes that make your happiness automatic. Here are three tips that will start you on this process.
1. Gratitude. The Drunk Monkey (my nickname for the mind) is designed to look for what is wrong and try to fix it, kill it or avoid it. The Drunk Monkey does not spend any time looking at what works. What works is not a threat and therefore deserves little of your mind’s attention. Yet focusing on what works is a powerful discipline that creates automatic happiness.
2. Acceptance. Dr David Hawkins, author of “Power vs. Force” says, “Acceptance is the great healer of strife, conflict and upset.” The Drunk Monkey does not spend time accepting. The Drunk Monkey’s job is to notice differences and declare things that are unfamiliar a threat. The Drunk Monkey uses negative emotions to move your body away from what is unknown, different, strange, unusual. To achieve automatic happiness you must practice questioning The Drunk Monkey’s motives. By seeking to accept you instantly go into a peaceful happy place.
3. Self-Examination. When you see The Drunk Monkey (your mind) for what it really is, just an unexamined accumulation of reactions, you start to question everything it is doing. Every client I work with is taught to question everything The Drunk Monkey says. Stop believing in your thoughts. When you do, happiness becomes your natural state. Steven Sadleir author of “Looking For God” says, “Anything other than happiness and peace is just a state of mind.”
Today consider that your life has structure that creates feelings you never designed. With awareness comes flexibility. When you start being more flexible, new options appear. Options give you power. When you feel empowered, you feel happy. Awareness is the key.
Popularity: 9% [?]
Dated:
August 27, 2009 – 11:55 am
The Drunk Monkey is always trying to keep you away from things that might be uncomfortable. Your new goals and dreams ARE going to be uncomfortable. New isn’t easy to experience because it’s different, unusual and weird. Your new goals and dreams are unknown and therefore disconcerting to the mind.
The way forward is the present moment. The future is dark and scary to The Drunk Monkey (your mind), the present moment is a flashlight that you are shining into the future to see what is there.
Today practice gratitude, appreciation, and practice understanding today. Notice the beauty around you. Pay attention to the fact that all is well in this moment. The future isn’t coming the way your mind thinks it is. Quit allowing The Drunk Monkey to fantasize about the future that isn’t coming. You don’t know what’s going to happen next. Stay HERE now instead. From there moving forward is easier to handle.
Popularity: 7% [?]
Dated:
July 7, 2009 – 8:57 am
Right and wrong are words you put on your life after it has already passed you by.
Right and wrong are words you fantasize about and they keep you from taking chances.
Right and wrong are words you use to make yourself more and others less.
Right and wrong are your justifications for being ignorant.
Right and wrong are your battle swords.
Right and wrong are just a point of view.
Right and wrong are just your opinion.
Right and wrong limit your happiness, fulfillment and enjoyment.
Right and wrong are born of The Drunk Monkey and not of the Earth. Nothing here on Earth is right or wrong. It’s just talking in your head… blah blah blah…. get over it.
Popularity: 8% [?]
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