Does Your Body Help You Succeed?

Dated: date August 29, 2009 – 9:37 am

The body won’t help you have a great life.  The body has urges that don’t support you in living your dreams.  So many of my male clients don’t yet distinguish that their body has the urge to have sex with people they are not in relationship with.  The body has the urge.  Not you.  Many of my female clients don’t yet distinguish that their body has the urge to mother people who don’t need your help.

The body is an animal.  The body does its own thing.  The body doesn’t care if it’s urges contradict your commitments.  Today, notice how your body’s urges contradict your commitments. Then choose to do what you want versus what your body wants.

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Your Personality is the Glass Ceiling

Dated: date August 17, 2009 – 9:55 am

istock_000000463117smallHas it ever occurred to you that your personality is a hindrance to getting what you want out of life?

It is amazing how many sales people, executives and entrepreneurs believe that their personality is their strong suit and fundamental reason for their success.  I propose that your personality is actually the glass ceiling that has held you back from achieving the profound happiness and success you have been searching for.

Why is your personality the glass ceiling?

The “you” that you are… just like the “Matthew Ferry” that I am, is nothing more than an accumulated set of habitual ways of dealing with the world.  I am not actually Matthew Ferry just like you are not actually your name.  Your personality began forming in early childhood as a way of manipulating the people in your environment to keep you around.  The personality is based in fear.

I don’t know about your life, but I can tell you that so often I have relied on my personality to get what I want and so often I have been disappointed with the results.  Because my personality is not flexible and therefore it limits and stops progress.  When confronted with an unknown situation the personality reacts with fear or anger or hiding.

The habitual way you deal with the world is what stops you from achieving profound states of happiness and success.  The habitual way of dealing with the world is your personality.  Today, notice how there is a set of habits running the show and not your conscious choices.

By the way, I am doing one of my transformative free webinars on Wednesday at 3pm.  If you want to get inspired and take action, then join me here.

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Does an Obsession for Success Kill the Passion for Life?

Dated: date June 23, 2009 – 8:46 am

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I’m sitting here on a plane ride back from Seattle where I spent the day thinking about who I am and why I was born, facilitated by my wonderful friends at www.designduoinc.com and www.brillianceenterprises.com.

I just finished the movie Lost In Translation and I was awe struck by the artistry and tasteful story telling.

Today I was groovin’ to tunes by James Morrison, Kiss, Rascal Flats and even a couple of my own tunes by Vertigo Deluxe. Several times I was moved, elated, bouncing and feeling so happy being right here, right now.

In the last month I read all four Twilight books and I was so blown away by how it made me feel.

I’m sitting here thinking. Where have I been?  What have I been doing?  What have I been waiting for?

When was I going to start appreciating art, beauty and artistry again?  After I achieved what?  What does achieving have to do with appreciation?

I remember being a teenager and I was moved, touched, inspired, sparked, enraged and validated by song, art, film and theater. I would get enraptured by sporting events rooting for the underdog!!

Where did that go?  I’ve been so busy creating a life that someday I can enjoy, I’ve completely ignored my natural appreciation. Why has my hunt for success, fortune and fame been so all consuming?

Today I just got present to how The Drunk Monkey has owned me for the last 20 years as I chased the elusive destination called success. Now I’m here and I can’t believe I wasted so much time on it.

I didn’t need to live in a multi-million dollar house, burn through luxury cars or have 20 pairs of pimp shoes. I could have been appreciating, digging, grooving, dancing, singing, cheering on the underdog, and moved to tears the entire time. No stuff is required to feel and experience.

As I wipe the tears from my eyes, I realize that I’m happy that I went for the elusive prize for you.

I’m grateful that my heartache can be a marker, a beacon for you. So I can share with you my journey and tell you its not worth obsessing over the destination called success. No matter how much I achieve I still haven’t proved to the elusive “them” that I’m good enough or a part of the group or worthwhile or even of value.

The rules I was taught don’t apply. The promises that I was sold on didn’t get fulfilled. So I am going out on my own and making up my own rules.

Live now!  Appreciate now!  Listen to more music, roll on the ground with your kids, forgive your parents, smell the roses, stare at sunsets.

I know it sounds like sappy self help bulls*** but no matter how much stuff you have it doesn’t change your ability to appreciate.  And achieving success will not change your experience and appreciation.

I dare you to stop and appreciate everything you come across today and see what happens.

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What do you do when you hit a bad stretch and nothing is working?

Dated: date February 19, 2009 – 3:43 pm

Over The Top!Panic! No.  Just kidding.  Life goes up and life goes down.  There are no straight lines in the universe.  This is a wiggly wobbly ride you are on, my friend.  The key is to just relax into the down times.  Cut expenses, examine all of your promises and eliminate guilt and obligation.  Stop doing things that feel bad.  Take more naps.  Go for more walks.  Meditate.  Pray.  Go within.  When you do that, the answers come, the energy returns and the surge of new energy begins again.  What goes up, must come down.  And in life cycles, if you practice the techniques I give you, what does down will come back up again.

In the Inspired Action Coaching process we advise our clients that breakdown is the beginning of breakthrough.  The key is to celebrate that the bad stretch is the beginning of a new good stretch.  It’s hard to get that when you are in the middle of it.  But when you think about your life as a whole you will see that you have gone up and down countless times.  That the down time leads to an up time.

Success is a series of well-managed breakdowns.  Success is not a destination.  Success is a process of managing the destruction that new ideas create in your life.  Sometimes the bad stretch that people go through is the result of your life adjusting to the new ideas, thoughts, process and creates you are putting into place.  Just relax and know that all will work out.  Just keep moving forward one day at a time, taking life as it comes.

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