So many of my clients come to me and they’re having relationship issues. And it turns out that they don’t actually love the person that they’re with. They love the probability that the person represents. When they got together with the person they thought to themselves, “You know, this person has such possibility. If they would just be X, Y, and Z, well, it’s gonna be so amazing. They’re on their way. I’ll help them. I’ll change them. I’ll fix them.”
That’s a recipe for a disaster relationship. If you are in a relationship thinking that someday the person’s going to change and then they’re gonna become better, you’re going to be in a relationship where you’re miserable. The game for you is to learn to accept who that person is now, exactly as they are, with no need for them to change. And when you do that, everything will start to change. They will completely begin to shift.
I was speaking to a client today, and she was saying, “Ah, my husband, he’s so lazy and he’s this, that,” etc. So I told her “All I want you do is take time every single day and make a list of five things that you really appreciate about him.” So, she did that for a week. Well, guess what happened? Suddenly his whole attitude changes. His behavior changes. He begins to shift. He’s more interesting. He’s more exciting. He’s more productive. He’s more all the things that she wanted him to be. He started becoming all of that when she shifted into a state of acceptance.