Dated:
October 8, 2010 – 1:07 pm
So, are you a habitual robotic psycho? Are you stuck in your belief that the way that you’ve been conditioned to behave is the right way? And the way that other people have been conditioned to behave is the wrong way? Are you holding people accountable to agreements they never made? Are you mad when people don’t do the things that you want them to do? Let that stuff go.
You are not the ruler of the universe. You’re not in charge of how people are supposed to be. So, chill out, man. Relax. Go with the flow and just notice how much easier your life is.
Posted in Inner Peace, Life Coaching, relationship help
|
Tags:
happy couple, happy relationships, Life Coach, life coach training, Life Coaching, relationship advice, relationship help, relationship issues, relationship problems, relationship trouble, Relationships, self growth, self help, self improvement, solving relationship problems
Dated:
October 4, 2010 – 3:59 pm
Here is a big win from long time client Jennifer, “Hi Matthew- I had the biggest breakthrough with my mother today. My mom and I have been setting each other off over the last few months. I made the decision to lover her and be a silent observer. What I was doing was causing havic on my life and finances so I flipped the coin so to speak. WOW!!!! My mother has gone from a victim to a person that is attracting all the time and is amazing.. Some of our previous conflicts were extremely worrisome and tiresome and I thought about this and came to the realization that all my making her wrong was boomeranging back towards me…You should see her now…Wow!! I love my mom.”
Posted in relationship help
|
Tags:
best relationship help, i need relationship help, Life Coaching, live relationship help, love relationship help, matthew ferry, online relationship help, Relationship, relationship help, relationship help advice, relationship help communication, relationship help online
Dated:
September 30, 2010 – 1:35 pm
Changing your lover, your spouse, your partner will never work. They don’t want to change. They got into this relationship with you because they thought that you accepted them the way they are. What makes relationships not work, what kills the bliss in relationships is that we love who we think the person could be some day when we finally fix them enough so that they’re perfect. That will kill your bliss. That will make sure that your relationship suck.
Stop trying to convert your lover, your spouse, your partner over to your tribe. They don’t want to convert. Instead appreciate, honor, accept. Why don’t you make a list today of ten things that you appreciate about your lover, your husband, wife, spouse. Make a list of ten things and just review it tonight before you go to bed. Review it tomorrow night, too. In fact, review it for the next week. See what happens when you focus on the things that you appreciate about the person that you’re in a relationship with. You will see the bliss, the joy, the happiness increase exponentially and you’ll discover they didn’t need to change. You needed to change.
Posted in Life Coaching, relationship help
|
Tags:
happy couple, happy relationships, Life Coach, life coach training, Life Coaching, relationship advice, relationship help, relationship issues, relationship problems, relationship trouble, Relationships, self growth, self help, self improvement, solving relationship problems
Dated:
September 24, 2010 – 1:29 pm
Relationship bliss. How do you achieve this? It’s really simple. You have to give up being right. You need to give up that the other person is wrong. You’ve got to give up that your way is the only way. You need to recognize, very simply, that your partner, your spouse, your lover was raised by other people who have a totally different way of operating in the world. Ultimately, you need to stop converting the person that you are in relationship with to your style. They don’t want to be your style. They want to be their style. So just let them be the style that they are and instead devote yourself to their joy. Spend your time focused on creating their joy, and your joy will explode. All you have to do is focus on how you can help them be happy, and your happiness will be unbelievable.
Posted in Life Coaching
|
Tags:
acceptance, i need relationship help, Life Coach, Life Coaching, relationship guidance, relationship help, relationship help advice, relationship help for men, relationship help for women, relationship help online, Relationships, self growth, self help
Dated:
September 21, 2010 – 2:21 pm
A client writes, “My mom brings out the tribal warrior in me and we have some pretty intense exchanges. Today I was practicing being compassionate and thinking she is doing the best she can and then in her presents I felt furious. My nerves were on edge and our exchange was terrible. What can I do when I feel like just out of nowhere provoked intensely. I know I am not a victim of my mom but she makes me really mad. I think she acts inappropriately and out of bounds.”
My response: Somewhere along the line, The Drunk Monkey has decided that your mom is a threat. Now her presence represents potential danger. Of course this is a delusion. The only way out is to notice (which you are) and then own it with your mom. You must get with your mom and apologize for being reactive.
Sit with her and say, “Mom for some reason my brain has decided that I am the ruler of the universe and it has declared that your behavior is wrong and my behavior is right. Apparently some time in the past my nervous system got tweaked and I started protecting myself against you, as if you were a threat. But I can see now mom, that you are not a threat to me. You did things differently. You do things in ways that I don’t agree with. But these things are not a threat to me. I apologize for being unconscious around you and not allowing you to just be yourself. I promise to catch myself reacting to you. I promise to allow you to be exactly as you are and accept that you do things differently.”
Posted in ridiculous bliss
|
Tags:
broken relationship help, communication problems in relationships, dealing with relationships, family fights, family problems, family relationships, Life Coach, Life Coaching, matthew ferry, online relationship coaching, problems in relationships, relationship coaching, relationship drama, relationship help, relationship help for men, relationship help for women, relationship repair, relationship training, ridiculous bliss, trouble in relationships
Dated:
July 15, 2010 – 2:00 pm
The drunk monkey is definitely running your relationship if you are saying, “I love him, but – ” “I love her, but I wish she would – ”
You see, what the drunk monkey says is “If my partner was more like me – if my partner did life the way that I thought they should do life, well, then they’d be much better.” You were conditioned like a dog to believe that your way of being in a relationship is the right way. You were conditioned, like a dog – pee over here. Poop over there. Do this. Say that. Walk like this. Talk like that. You didn’t make your own choices about who you were going to be. And yet you demand that your partner make the same choices as you.
Consider that if you don’t accept someone exactly as they are, you don’t actually love them. Consider you’re trying to change them. Changing someone is not loving them. Loving them is letting them be exactly who they are, as well as all the things that they’re not. Stop holding people accountable to agreements that they never made, and your life coaching is going to get so much easier.
