Matthew Ferry's Blog

Thoughts for the day:

Just got off the phone with a Realtor client who is in the Inspired Action Coaching program.  He is not doing well.  I asked him to tell me the problem.  Of course, he blamed the economy, unrealistic home owners, foreclosures, banks dumping their houses for the cash etc.

I then told him that we have many Realtor clients in the coaching who are doing well.  They didn’t seem to mind all of those elements.  In fact, they have learned to see them as an advantage.

“What isn’t working about your business?”  I asked him.

Then he said it, “I don’t want to admit it but I hate real estate!  I just got into it for the money.  Now that the market has changed, I have to really change my ways and I just can’t get myself to do it.”  He goes on to say, “I know what it takes to make this business work but I don’t like doing what it takes.  It’s got me depressed and I’m not getting out of bed.  Everyday I’m feeling worse.”

When you resist “What’s so about life” it’s almost like putting a belt around your neck and tightening it ever so slightly.  You aren’t choking for air but you feel disoriented and very uncomfortable.  The problem is, you put the belt around your neck.  You resist what is happening.

Here’s what I told him to do:

1.  Make a list of everything you love about your life now.

2.  Make a list of everything you believe works about your life now.

3.  What do you like about your business?

4.  What do you wish you could change about your business?

5.  What other times in life have you had similar complaints?

6.  What are those changes trying to teach you, that you have been avoiding your entire life?

7.  What is the advantage of learning to do those things you have been trying to avoid?  Since they keep coming up for you, why not transform them?

8.  If you didn’t have to commit to doing these things that you are avoiding forever, would you be willing to test yourself to see if you have the capacity to do these things you have been avoiding?

9.  What is one thing you can test this week just to see what you can learn about yourself?

I’m not asking this client to learn to love what he doesn’t love.  My questions and exercises help him to see “who he is” in relationship to work.  What you resist, will persist.  What you avoid will track you down.  In the Inspired Action Coaching Program we believe that what you can accept, you can transform.

If you are not happy with your work situation right now, try on this exercise and report back your findings.