How to Neutralize Negativity

kill_your_computer_hg_whtYesterday I posted a thought about how positive people rarely deal with their negativity because they feel it will make them negative.  I proposed that the problem with not dealing with the negativity that lurks below the surface is that it seeps out of you in ways that others can sense.  You end up becoming a rose garden with a sewer underneath.  I had some great comments on various social sites that I wanted to address.

Negativity is neutralized by becoming aware of its source.  I define negativity as the resistance you have to what is so.  Life is just lifing along and then you are resisting what ever it is doing.  The past is simply a figment of your imagination that you are now resisting.  The future is a hallucination you are having that you are resisting.  People are just doing whatever they are doing and you are reacting to your opinion of what they are doing.  It’s not what they are doing that bothers you, it is your opinion about what they are doing that is bothering you.

In a nutshell, your opinion is the source of your negativity.  And where does this opinion come from?  Your infinite wisdom?  NO!  The Drunk Monkey in your head!!!!  All hail the great and wise Drunk Monkey.  You have been conditioned like a dog to think that “this is the right way to pee!  That is the right way to dress!  Those are the right behaviors!”  But all of that is just your parents or whoever raised you doing their best to get you ready for life.  What you believe about the world is not the truth.  What you believe is just conditioning.  Today, just roll with life and watch negativity dissipate before your eyes.

Positive People with Crappy Lives… Why?

SadnessAs a life coach, my job is to help people see the truth so that they can accept it, transform it and move forward. This is difficult for most positive people. Why? Because positive thinking has been taught to so many of us as “the way” when in fact, it is the impact of a particular perspective.

Meaning, when you adopt positive modes of thinking, you are practicing the effect of something else. This makes it inauthentic. Most positive people, when pressed, admit that there are a lot of things they are unhappy about. “But I shouldn’t talk about them Matthew because that is negative!!” they tell me.

Not true. To have a host of areas of your life that you are unhappy with and then be positive about them is like putting your head in the sand. I call it the Rose Garden with the Sewer underneath.

Okay. Positivity is important, powerful and life transforming. But it is the natural affect of being able to accept and effectively dealing with all that doesn’t work in your life. That’s where myself and my coaches come in for most people.

Even more importantly, negativity is really good. Negativity creates desire. Negativity is the seed of creativity. Negativity is the fountain of innovation and change. Without negativity we would all be sitting around doing nothing.

Negativity is not so good when you resist it and can’t allow it to exist in your life.

Interview – How to Find a Job

istock_000003171148smallThis link will take you to an interview I did with Rod McDermott of the McDermott and Bull executive search firm.  The show is designed to inspire those who are in search of their next work opportunity.  Use the slide advance button on the top right to advance to slide 8 where my interview is.  Looking forward to getting your feedback and feel free to share this with anyone in your circle who is in transition.

Watch Here

What Perspective Are You Growing From?

As a life coach my job is to support clients in achieving their dreams.  Depending on your point of view, you will either grow from struggle or ease.

If you grow from the point of view that “I’m not there yet”, everything will be a struggle because you keep saying “Someday I’m going to be there”.

If you grow from “Now is perfect”, everything will be easy, effortless and enjoyable because you are satisfied with now and eager to add to it.

Where are you growing from?

Inspiring Video of Before and After

Make sure you get yourself in my free call.

http://matthewferry.com/bestyearever/

The Drunk Monkey Explained

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