I just had a discussion with my gym partner. He mentioned that after 15 years of being a sales person, he can tell what type of person someone is as soon as he meets them.
I completely disagree.
I’ve been in sales for 19 years and I’ve trained tens of thousands of sales people. I have noticed that The Drunk Monkey (your mind) is designed to judge, assess and generalize as a safety measure.
You judge people by their facial expressions, clothes, posture etc. You assess the surroundings and the context of your interaction with them and then you process all that data in milliseconds and compare it to the past. The Drunk Monkey then feeds you a generalization about who this person is and what you can expect.
The problem is that you are now pretending to know who this person is. But you don’t.
You can not know somebody’s insides by looking at their outsides.
In my sales training I ask you to stay neutral and find out who the person really is. Ask questions, be curious and engage the mystery. Don’t be quick to jump to conclusions. Your conclusions are just speculation.
To be influential, you must seek to understand someone and move into a state of total acceptance with them. As you do that you will gain deep knowledge of their desires. Now you have the capacity to advise them powerfully.