Secret Mindset of the Super Successful

Dated: date September 12, 2011 – 2:31 pm
I’m doing another free webcast.I’m committed to supporting you in having an amazing 2nd half of this year.

So I’m going to show you what the super successful are doing right now to stay in the game and succeed in 2011.

I’ve got 4 very important mindset secrets of the super successful. Would you like to know what they are?

Join me next Wednesday afternoon 12pm Pacific and I’ll tell you what they are.

 

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COMPLEMENTARY LIVE VIDEO BROADCAST
Topic: Secret Mindset of The Super Successful
Date: Wednesday, September 14th
Time: 12:00pm (Pacific) / 2:00pm (Central) / 3:00pm (Eastern)
Duration: 90 Minutes
====> Register Here <=====
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The 4 Secret Mindset Tricks Include…

- How to block negative energy from harming your life

- A secret recipe for being happy…that anyone can do

- A simple system for making your goals come true

- A daily ritual that will keep you moving forward and feeling empowered

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Extra Special Super Awesome Bonus
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Everyone who registers and is present during the whole broadcast will be eligible to win a 2-year life changing coaching package worth $4648.  I did this last month and one very lucky person won it all.  Will it be you this time?

Make sure you are on the broadcast live!

Your coach,

Matthew Ferry

P.S. Do what the super successful do and you will achieve what they achieve.  Let me share 4 mindset tricks with you Wednesday 14th.  Be there!

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19 Ways Your Inner Child Messes Your Life Up (Revisited)

Dated: date September 2, 2011 – 2:36 pm

Back in 2009 I wrote 4 posts that talked about how your inner child messes your life up.  I thought it would be a good idea to revisit them all today.

As a coach, I am confronted with this question on a daily basis,

“How can I feel more happiness and peace in my life now?” 

The answer is simple but most people don’t like the answer.  “Grow up!”  Now I’m not trying to be sarcastic or condescending, hear me out on this one.  Most people are still utilizing behaviors they learned in kindergarten and on the play ground as their tools for success.  And guess what?  It ain’t workin’.

Your so called “Inner Child” isn’t so inner after all.  In fact, it’s quite outer.  One of the most important steps towards happiness and peace is giving up the behaviors you adopted as a child in favor of more conscious, responsible and adult solutions.

Here are 19 ways your inner child messes up your life and ensures you don’t experience happiness and peace.

1.  Self-pity.  Why me?  I’m a victim.  If life was different, then I would be able to be happy!

2.  Jealousy. Being attached to people will make your life miserable.  People will do what ever they do and all you can do is manage your promises, commitments and attitude towards them.  Managing their behavior will only annoy you.

3.  Envy. The Drunk Monkey (your mind) declares, “Now is wrong.  It will be better when you have that stuff over there.”  You will never arrive.  You will never have it all.  We coach people who make hundreds of millions of dollars and they still believe that someday it will all be better when they have more stuff.

4.  Competitiveness. No one is competing with you.  Everyone is trying to get ahead in a world were all the measurements are figments of your imagination.  To compete is to say that there is a way you can be a loser.  You never lose, you just learn.

5.  Temper tantrums. Manipulating people with your anger is something all children learn to do early on.  To continue to use it into adulthood is a guaranteed way to create suffering for you and others.  Most people will opt to not deal with you.  Your life will be small.  You may succeed but your life will be small as in shallow.

6.  Emotional Outbursts. Same thing as above.  If you use this as your way of getting what you want, then you will have a life filled with conflict, struggle, anger and doubt.  You will feel lonely your whole life and not really know why.

7.  Resentments.  If your life is not fulfilling, then this is the number one reason.  This is the highest priority of your Inspired Action Coach.  When you let go of your resentments, everything in your life gets better, and quick.  Standby, I’m going to start uploading some coaching calls where I help people let go of their resentments.

8.  Hatred. The Drunk Monkey loves to hate.  To hate is to demonstrate that you are in control.  To hate is to show the world that you will not be messed with.  But there is one problem.  You get what you focus on.  If you hate, you will bring negative situations upon yourself.  Give it up, today.

9.  Rivalries. To be in a rivalry means you perceive there is a lack of something.  Lack of attention.  Lack of recognition.  Lack of glory.  These are childish misconceptions.  You can always get the attention you deserve.  To be in a rivalry makes sure that you never feel satisfied, even when you win.

10.  Competition. Again.  To compete is to fear that there can only be one winner.  What you seek is the experience you think winning will give you.  Focus on getting that experience and don’t worry about who placed in what order.

11.  Seeking the limelight and admiration. The Drunk Monkey is always trying to be the biggest.  It believes if it is admired by all, then it will survive longer.  It believes if it is admired that it will be able to spread its DNA all over the planet.  Aren’t you ready to grow up?  You are going to die no matter how popular you are.

12.  Willfulness. Isn’t it bizarre how old people display behaviors they developed as 2-year-olds?  Willfulness is just a form of righteousness.  An addiction to being right.  Why?  Because The Drunk Monkey believes that being right will help you survive longer.  It won’t.  It will just make you miserable.

13. Blaming others. To be the victim and not take responsibility is standard protocol for most people.  The truth is, you are not always responsible.  But that’s not a very powerful place to stand.  In the end, there is no blame to be assigned.  There is just the experience you are choosing to have.

14.  Thwarting responsibility. Related to blaming others.  This kindergarten behavior is about declaring yourself powerless.  The only powerful thing to do in your life is take responsibility no matter what.  The person who takes responsibility has options and power.

15.  Making people wrong. This is The Drunk Monkey’s favorite past time.  By making people wrong, you get to be right.  The Drunk Monkey perceives that by being right, you will some how win more favor and stay alive longer.  Maybe you’ll get the more attractive mate if you are more right then others.  Good job, little monkey!

16.  Looking for favor. The class clown.  The know it all.  The helper.  The kiss ass.  They are all looking for favor.  Looking to be more.  Seeking the limelight in hopes of being better then others.  You will get ahead, have it all and still be live with fear and anger if you don’t let go of the idea that something outside of yourself will give you happiness.

17.  Collecting stuff.  The Drunk Monkey believes that more stuff means more life.  By more life, I mean more prestige, more security and more power.  Things do not create any of these effects.  I have seen many clients get the $7,000,000 house and instantly think it is too small or not enough.  Next they are on to the cars, plane and on and on ad infinitum.  What do you think you will accomplish with all your stuff?

18.  Showing off.  It’s all about winning favor and being special for The Drunk Monkey (your mind/survival mechanism).  Apparently The Drunk Monkey believes that if people love and adore it, then it will live longer.  It doesn’t happen and eventually you run out of tricks to show off with.  Then what do you do?  FIND TOOLS TO BE HAPPY NOW.  Good thing you are reading this blog.

19. Petulance. Which means feeling unreasonably irritable or ill-tempered.  Why do we allow ourselves to go down these dark roads?  First of all, no one has ever asked you to question them.  Second, you get so much juice from this kind of behavior.  You get to control people.  You get to manipulate.  You get to be the victim.  All of which messes your life up.

And that does it.  19 ways your inner child messes up your life.  I hope you gained some new awareness from these posts.

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Happiness is a Skill Worth Developing

Dated: date August 25, 2011 – 12:54 pm
Happiness is not only good for your health, according to a study in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences but apparently it’s good for business too.  In his Harvard Business Review article, Shawn Achor sites that happy doctors diagnose 19% faster and happy sales people increase sales by 37%.  He goes on to say, “Happiness is the single greatest competitive advantage in the modern economy.”Over the last 17 years, I’ve seen dramatic business turn-around’s occur in as little as a week.  The only change being an increase in a persons happiness.  The results I’ve witnessed have been dramatic.  My clients on Wall Street made better trades, CEO’s made more profitable decisions and sales people made more sales all with a shift in their mindset, which lead to greater well-being.  Having been trained that correct business systems trumped all human factors, the outcomes that occurred from “enhancing one’s mood” were shocking.As a result, in the late 90s I decided to focus my career on the pursuit of happiness and fully investigate its impact on the success process.  Over a ten year period I found that happiness was a skill that anyone could learn and that happiness was a hidden determinant in success.  Bottom line; when entrepreneurs learn the skills to be happy, they have unexplainable increases in their results.

4 Happiness Skills Anyone Can Learn

There are a set of specific, actionable skills & tools that will cause a person to be happy regardless of the circumstances they find themselves in.  The following is the short list that I suggest to all new clients.

1.  Give up being right.

Most people are addicted to being right and they don’t even know it.  This leads to endless amounts of argument and strife.  To be happy, you must let go of this ineffective habit of thought.
Try this:  Notice that The Drunk Monkey(my nickname for the chatter in your mind) has an opinion on everything including things it knows nothing about.  Opinions are vanities and are always from your perspective.  Your perspective my be right for you, but certainly not for everyone and everything.  And yet, when you pay attention to The Drunk Monkey you see that it actually believes that it is right about almost everything.The desire to be right often puts you into a resistant state which does not lead to happiness.  When you are in a resistant state of mind – trying to prove your opinion is right – you will not be as effective as when you are open to all possibilities.To give up being right, put yourself in the other persons shoes.  Look at the world from their perspective and acknowledge that there are multiple ways to view the situation.  In short, have compassion for others.

2.  Accept the situation as it is and then take action.  

A client of mine found himself in an unpleasant situation.  His company was merging with another company and he was informed that he would be losing his coveted office with the sun shining into the windows that he was accustomed to.  This may sound trivial.  For him, this was the end of a 10 year era and he was very attached to what the office represented in his life.  He had been angry for a week when we finally spoke.  The merger had not yet happened.  Yet, his anger was creating dysfunction in has ability to produce sales results today.  He was suddenly procrastinating on things that were important.  His sales were suffering.In a short period of time I helped him to realize that he was moving no matter how angry he got.  Ultimately he accepted this as the case and promised to stop complaining simply because it was not making him feel good.  Next I asked him a question I want you to ask yourself when faced with adversity, “What are you committed to?”  We shifted his focus to defining what he wanted to create out of the merger.  He described his best case scenario.  As he did, new options began to be illuminated, his mood changed and his energy went up.  Getting happy allowed him to get out of his resentment, see new possibilities and get creative.In the following weeks his sales results returned and he discovered a compromise that would work for his new working environment.  If you don’t accept the situation as it is, you become frustrated, and unhappy, which makes you feel stuck and you can’t move forward.  You literally get blinded to all your available options.

3.  Quit pretending you are a psychic who can tell the future.

Just the idea of a change to his office environment caused him to hallucinate about a future he didn’t like.  Problem is, he’s not psychic so he doesn’t know what the future will hold.  Yet he was suffering, right now, as if the negative future hadalready occurred.  This is a trick The Drunk Monkey plays on people to strip them of their happiness.The Drunk Monkey in your head is not your friend.  As a biological survival mechanism one of its functions is to predict potentially negative situations and then mobilize the body to avoid them.  Problem is, most of your life is not dangerous.  The salesman moving into a new office is not dangerous and yet, The Drunk Monkey invented futures that caused his body to be filled with chemicals that created great stress.  Nothing had happened and yet his life experience had been degraded by a figment of his imagination.Today just remind yourself that you are not psychic and that you can not predict the future.  Work to see the situation with exacting clarity by removing your fear and your opinions.  Next identify what you want to have happen.  Only then will new and interesting possibilities arise.

4.  Stop protecting yourself from people who aren’t attacking you.

A Wall Street executive was managing billions of dollars in assets and yet he felt like nobody listened to him and that he wasn’t important.  This perspective had him feel repressed and defeated.  His positive results didn’t seem to match his

Monkey's got your back

unhappy mindset.  He was making money for his firm and the firm was doing well as a whole.  With further investigation it turns out that he felt like other people in the firm didn’t think what he had to say was important and therefore he was an outsider and not involved in making critical decisions.  He realized that taking on more responsibility was important but felt powerless to do so.

I asked him how he knew this was true.  He told me about incidents that had occurred the year before.  I asked him to give me something that happened this week.  He couldn’t even think of something that had happened in the last six months.  The Drunk Monkey was at it again.

The Drunk Monkey creates generalizations.  Example; you walk over, pet a dog and it bites you.  The next time you see a dog, it shoots your body full of chemicals that put you on the alert.  Do all dogs bite?  No!  But the survival mechanism will steer you clear of anything today that might have seemed dangerous in the past.

This system is great for making sure kids don’t touch the hot stove more then once but it’s terrible for everyday life.  A couple incidents that occurred a year ago that made him feel angry and unappreciated.  Since then, he’s been protecting himself against a whole bunch of people who aren’t attacking him and frankly, don’t even remember what happened.

I asked him to consider that he had changed, they had changed, times had changed, and the world had changed since then.  I asked him if he would be willing to run an experiment to put The Drunk Monkey into place so he could return to happy, fulfilled and satisfied with work.  He agreed.  Here’s what I told him to do.

Instead of trying to keep his ideas safe, instead of wondering how he could move his objectives forward; for the next week, find out what other people were committed to.  See what the other people in the company were working on and discover ways to contribute to each of the people in the company.  Make it a game.  See if you can contribute something to someone everyday for the next seven days.  An idea, a contact, a resource or even just an encouraging word.

Through this process, he shifted from protecting himself from all the people who weren’t attacking him, to being supportive and giving.  Within the year he became one of the most celebrated people in his company.  Everyone wanted to get him involved in their projects.  He was suddenly important.  The next year he was recruited away by a superstar in his industry and made a partner in the firm.  This was a five year dream that came true in one.  The trick was simple, he needed to be the change he wanted to see in the world, just like Gandhi said.

When you are happy, you are creative, approachable, flexible and easy to be with.  Add those characteristics to your skill set and you will see an immediate positive benefit.

Most people believe that happiness is something that occurs when the conditions of life are favorable.  But the truth is, happiness is the skill navigating challenging situations without getting reactive.  If you wait for happiness to find you, you’ll be waiting a long time.  Happiness is an inside job.

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How to Let Go of Self Importance

Dated: date April 18, 2011 – 8:00 am

A facebook friend asked, “I wanted to ask you how to break the habit of attention seeking or can say self importance. It feels like everything revolves around me!”

My answer:
Self importance is just the drunk monkey feeling insecure. The drunk monkey (the talking in your head) wants to look good, be right, be powerful, rich ect for one very simple reason. It mistakenly believes that being any of those things will ensure the perpetuation of your genes. Get a mate, have status and be powerful. All this is a feeble attempt to win salvation and live for ever through your spawn. Of course your are already eternal, infinite and valuable. Each person is a whirling vibrating swirl of energy that is organized into this body. Energy never dies. Your salvation is guaranteed. Tell the drunk monkey to stop burdening you with the demands of proving to the world that you are good enough to have sex with and propagate the species. Just start living and enjoying each day exactly as it is. Any way there are nearly 7 billion of us these days so your spawn is not needed

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One Day CAN Change Your Life Forever

Dated: date March 14, 2011 – 2:15 pm

I’m am ecstatic about tomorrow, March 15th. Why? Because I am hosting The Inspired Action Workshop LIVE in St. Louis!

It’s going to be an amazing, action packed workshop. No matter where you’re starting from, if you attend you’ll leave with a clear understanding of what it is you truly want most in the key areas of your life. You’ll discover and learn how to tap into your greatest passions. You’ll make fundamental decisions, build a plan and begin to act upon it while creating strategies for sustained momentum. All in one day, guaranteed.

I absolutely love hosting my Inspired Action Workshops. There is nothing quite like it out there!

I hope to see you there!! :)

http://www.matthewferry.com/livestlouis/

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Just Say Yes

Dated: date March 3, 2011 – 10:33 am

Today I’ve got a Perfect Game update for you. I don’t know if you play the Perfect Game or not, but it’s something that I promote as a way of being in the flow and letting amazing and extraordinary opportunities come to you.

The way you play is simple. Whatever is offered, you take it. Whatever is suggested, you do it. Whatever happens, you declare it perfect. A lot of people get freaky about that. “Whatever’s offered? Matthew, what if people offer you drugs?” Come on, you’ve got to use discernment here, okay?

Usually someone is offering you things because you’ve been talking and they see that there’s some connection and they’re hooking you up. People suggest things because of what you’ve been saying. I’m not talking about people trying to sell you something, because that isn’t a suggestion.

So whatever is offered, you take it. Whatever is suggested, you do it. Whatever happens, you laugh and you declare it perfect. Open yourself up and say yes.

I look for sort of random, unusual opportunities or things that just come up. A buddy of mine, Phil Tyrone, I think you know him from, his website is 720CreditScore.com. Good friend of mine, known him for a long time, coached with me and he and I have become buddies since.

Phil calls me up out of the blue and says, “A good friend of mine is coming into town. He’s going to a LA Kings game, and he invited me to come, but I couldn’t go.” And he said, “Do you want to go to the Kings game? They’re going to have dinner beforehand. You can meet and hang out.” and I said, “Okay, cool.”

So I just say yes. It was an unusual opportunity, and I said yes. I have no agenda. So, I come walking into this room. We’re meeting in a restaurant beforehand, and I’m overwhelmed. You know, there’s about 19 people at this table. And it’s not just 19 normal people, it’s 19 of the movers and the shakers in my industry. So I’m thinking, “Whoa, wow!”. I sit down and I immediately start connecting with people. I’m asking about them and what they’re up to and what are their goals, dreams and where are they going and what are they doing, etc.

I connect with this one man in particular named Adam. Adam had just finished making a movie, and I was like, “Oh my god, how amazing.” So I’m just finding about this and immediately he’s reciprocating and wants to find out what I’m doing. Well, I’m in the middle of a little side project that I’m doing, is I’m creating a movie codenamed What the Floyd, that is about this 42-year-old man who is having a major crisis and breakdown in his life. And he gets in a car accident and he’s killed. And he has a near death experience and comes back and sees his life in a whole new way. And the whole thing is told with songs that I’m writing with my buddy David Keesee.

So I’m immediately intrigued by the fact that he just finished a film. He did it totally independent. He did it the way that I wanted to do my film. We got to talking, and he says, “Oh my god, I can help.” I was contributing to him, but then he turned around and started contributing to me. I went from confidence level two, that I was going to be able to do this movie the way that I wanted to do it, to now confidence level nine just in a moment!

I was not really out there in the world seeking out people who were going to help me with this. It just fell into my lap. It’s been a side project, background intention. I’ve been writing the songs and things like that, but not really focusing on how we’re going to actually do the production. But it’s an intention. It’s still there. It’s written down that I want to do that.

So the Perfect Game led me straight to it. And the Perfect Game will lead you straight to the things that you want as well. I recommend that whatever’s offered, you take it; whatever’s suggested, you do it; and whatever happens, you laugh and you declare it perfect. Remember to use discernment.

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