Why Success Will NOT Bring Happiness

Dated: date December 10, 2010 – 8:00 am

Worried

What you had envisioned success to be, isn’t at all what success actually is.  Success is like standing in a hammock on one leg juggling twelve balls.  Now that you’ve accomplished this incredible feet, it takes a lot to keep it going.

People who are already successful once believed that success would bring happiness.  Happiness in the form of acknowledgement, appreciation, victory, money, power, self esteem etc.  Now that you are successful and have received the accolades, you realize, it doesn’t make you happy.

In fact, success often brings even more negativity into your life.  More people want something from you and demand your time.  You have more responsibilities and accountabilities.  To be successful often means you have created something that needs to be protected.  Even worst, you may be among the many successful people who face the disastrous notion that what you have created isn’t even something you want.

To create happiness in your life takes a different set of success tools.  The target is different.  It’s not longer material success or accomplishment.  The new target is emotional success.  This is the next domain of success.  Once you realize that success does not make you happy, you suddenly find yourself on journey.

Nothing outside of you will bring happiness.  Nothing out in the world will ever make you happy.  Happiness is both an art and a skill.  Your mind, which I lovingly call, The Drunk Monkey is not designed for happiness.  In fact, I’ll leave you with this thought, “Anything other then happiness and peace is just a state of mind.”

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Darkness is Part of Success

Dated: date November 15, 2010 – 4:40 pm

You don’t know darkness unless you know light. And you don’t know light unless you know darkness. The darkness is a mandatory part of the process. If you have a goal to achieve more success, more money, greater projects, greater prosperity, you’ve got to go through those times of incredible doubt, despair, freaking out, worry, concern – those things just come up. And what they do is they cause you to consider what is next. They cause you to consider what might be missing. So, you have to have those dark moments. I just want you take this thought into your body: Success ultimately is nothing more than a series of well-managed breakdowns.

Meaning, a person who is successful is just someone who can manage the darkness, the destruction, and the chaos better than other people. Because, when you’re going after your dreams, when you’re going for your goals, you’re going to find yourself in chaos, in destruction, in doubt and fear. All of that stuff is just going to simply come up. It’s part of the process. Roll with it.

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How To Stay Focused on Success

Dated: date August 27, 2010 – 3:31 pm

I received a question in from one of my clients that said, “How do I stay focused on success, Matthew, when I’m just sick and tired of waiting for it?” And the answer is actually very simple. First of all, you must begin to acknowledge everything that has already occurred. You’ve already come so far, and you don’t acknowledge it.

There’s so much to your success that you’re already used to so you don’t notice it. Therefore, you’re not grateful. And there’s a reason for that. We’re not grateful because the mind’s job is to find things about us and about the world and about life that are potentially dangerous.

And so your mind is constantly saying, “Okay. I’m glad you’re successful. But what about that? What about this? That’s wrong. And this is wrong.” If you really pay attention to the drunk monkey in your head, it is totally focused in on how you are wrong.

So in order to get back to that renewed, rejuvenated place, you must get grateful. Now, what I recommend is that you do the 10 – 10 visualization process. Every night before you go to bed, I want you to just close your eyes and envision 10 things that you love about your life, and then 10 goals and dreams that are exciting to you.

Success is a progressive realization of a worthwhile goal. So success is not an outcome. You don’t get there. The moment you’re there, you already want something else.

So what you want to do is get grateful, get happy now. Every night before you go to bed, envision all the things you’re grateful for. Feel that gratitude. And then I want you to think about the things you want to create, your goals and dreams. And when you do that, it will blow you away how much happier and fulfilled you’ll be with today, which gives you energy to make tomorrow better.

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