Dealing With Fear

Originally posted Dec 11, 2008

Fear is good.  It’s been our saving grace as a species.  Thank God for Fear!!  Without it, you would walk into traffic and get run over by a car and do all sorts of dangerous things.

Dangerous.  Hmm?  Is your job dangerous?  Is your spouse dangerous?  Are you children dangerous?  No No No!  Yet, there are times when each of us experiences anger, doubt, frustration and upset in the above three examples.  Fear responses in non-dangerous situations.

Fear is good in relationship to survival.  The problem is, you are not in survival situations very often.  Relationships, jobs, hobbies, political debates, opinions about economic options and where to hang the holiday decorations are not dangerous in any way.  Yet, how often do these situations spike your adrenaline and get you into a fight or flight mode?

Dealing with fear is a matter of awareness.  Recognizing that your mind, the talking in your head, what I lovingly call The Drunk Monkey, is designed to keep you safe.  Its job is to identify potentially dangerous situations and people and then either fix, split or kill.

Today just notice how your mind is not your friend.  It’s not your buddy.  It’s not on your side.  It’s a function.  It’s a machine.  Notice the machine and see what happens to your fear.

You Can’t Afford to be Angry

Anger and fear are too expensive. You can’t afford to allow yourself to go into those emotions. And the truth is, anger, fear and doubt are based on an illusion that you are in some sort of danger. Now, if you’re reading this as a post, the bottom line is that you’re in a situation where you’re trying to get ahead, move forward. You’re trying to become something, create the life of your dreams. So, you’re not even in a dangerous situation.

Anger, fear, and doubt represent emotions that are designed to move you rapidly away from danger. Just start to get real. You’re not in danger. And when you’re in those states, you’re not effective. You’re not powerful. You’re not attractive. You’re not charismatic. You’re not pulling the things to you that you want to pull to you. So you’ve got to learn how to see the situation for what it really is rather than living in the delusions the drunk monkey sets forth.

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