The Spiritual Drunk Monkey

Dated: date December 20, 2010 – 5:09 pm

A client writes in, ” Sometimes I get impatient when people don’t get it (ie. They assume things, are negative…don’t think like me)…how can I become better at understanding people?? My ego gets out of whack when it wants to impose its beliefs about how things should be onto others…when my true self knows there is no right or wrong.”

I call this the spiritual Drunk Monkey. Once you become a spiritual person you put less weight in what The Drunk Monkey says so it becomes spiritual in order to get your attention again.

Your judgement is a futile attempt at surviving longer by trying to be better or fix what is broken. See The Drunk Monkey for what it is; a biological mechanism that protects you from threats that don’t exist.

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Her Man And The Drunk Monkey

Dated: date December 17, 2010 – 9:39 am

Today I told a client, “Have you ever considered that he’s the right man for you but your have the wrong Drunk Monkey for him?”

Ever wonder why we are drawn to people that we make wrong?

The Drunk Monkey wants to make babies and simultaneously wants to protect you from other tribes that might be dangerous.

Welcome to being an animal.

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Why is Change so Hard?

Dated: date September 12, 2010 – 1:50 pm

Why is change so hard? Why can’t we just get where we want to be? The answer is the drunk monkey. The drunk monkey in your head, all of the talking, all of the chatter, all of that blah, blah, blah! It’s not interested in change. It doesn’t want change.

The only time the drunk monkey wants change is if it is strategically effective to change in order to manipulate people into believing that you’re good enough so that you can stay alive longer by showing everyone how powerful you are. It changes out of pain. It changes to get away from stuff.

But that’s not what you’re doing. You’re changing because you want, because you desire, because you want to go forward. Well, I hate to break the news, but the drunk monkey doesn’t care about that. The drunk monkey wants to keep things the same as much as possible. Why? Because keeping things the same represents safety. If you know what is going to happen next, you feel safe and secure. The drunk monkey in your head is doing everything in its power to keep things the same. But guess what? Your new goals and dreams, those are outside of the comfort zone. They represent different.

Goals and dreams represent new. They represent the unknown. And guess what? The thinking in your head will resist. You ever set a goal to go on a diet before? Who’s the first one to convince you to eat a cookie? The drunk monkey. You ever said, “That’s it. I am gonna get up in the morning, and I’m gonna work out.” Who’s the first one to say, “Oh, just hit the snooze. It’s no big deal.” The drunk monkey.

Be aware of your drunk monkey and stay focused on your goals and dreams. The more aware you are that the drunk monkey is causing these thoughts, the easier it will be to ignore them.

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Do I Have to be a Monk to Experience Bliss?

Dated: date August 4, 2010 – 12:09 pm

“Do I have to become a monk and sit in a cave to have wild incredible states of enlightenment, pure bliss, pure joy, pure ecstasy? Or can I continue to participate in the world?”

This is what one of my clients asked me when he began to investigate the idea of killing his drunk monkey. The death of the drunk monkey is how you reach an enlightened state–the drunk monkey doesn’t talk to you anymore. And believe me, it will be the happiest day of your life!

So, my client says, “I’m afraid because I’m on Wall Street and I’m successful. What if I go to a place of total detachment and just want to bow out in life and not do anything?” and said, “Yo, that is your drunk monkey being afraid of getting into a place of enlightened joy. No, you don’t have to sit in the cave. You don’t have to deprive yourself of life. You don’t have to renounce the world in order for you to get into unbelievable states of joy.” In fact, you can speed up the process of getting to joy by being in these contrasting states that you experience in your world; consider that everything in your world right now is an opportunity to give you more joy, more peace, more love, more fulfillment by demonstrating or showing you the opposite; contrast is the key.

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The Drunk Monkey and Enlightenment

Dated: date July 26, 2010 – 1:22 pm

Chogyam Trungpa says, “Enlightenment is ego’s ultimate disappointment.”

I call the ego The Drunk Monkey. The Drunk Monkey believes that enlightenment is something to be achieved and will some how be “its” ultimate accomplishment. When in fact it is only the total surrender of The Drunk Monkey itself.

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Fix Your Relationship Like Jennifer and Powell

Dated: date September 17, 2009 – 1:25 pm

Powell,Asher,Me, & MilesToday I received a wonderful testimonial from Jennifer about how controlling her Drunk Monkey positively impacted her marriage.

“I am writing this to anyone interested in creating a relationship beyond your wildest dreams & the affect of working with Matthew Ferry has had for our family – in particular in the area of relationship. My husband and I took the relationship course offered by Matthew and it has transformed the way we think, the way we are, what we create together, and the connection we have with each other and with our children.

When we started the course I blamed my husband for everything. I saw him as someone who if he did this than I would be happy. Not a real powerful place to stand from. It was after taking this course that I realized the power I have to create or destroy my own happiness and how I had been a victim in life and with my husband. I had an attitude of superiority, anger, it was as if my husband was walking around with a target on him at all times and I was just looking for the next thing he did to me or not the way that I wanted. After taking this course it became very clear that I was creating this scenario to play into the cycle I had lived my entire life…of not being worthy, of being a victim. Having this as the general pattern running my life gave me the excuse to make others wrong & from that standpoint I would never have to be responsible for my actions or the life I was creating.
Since taking this course there have been moments where I will fall back and realize very quickly that I am responsible – and I will ask myself – what can I do to create something different that serves our happiness & the happiness of our family. I realized in taking this course that clearly when we are happy in life everything around us is good. Having the power to create our own happiness makes life enchanting, engaging, and one worth living.
Our family recently moved to an area we have been talking about relocating to for the last 5 years, have our third boy on the way and are co-creating for the first time in our life together. What we share together is honest, pure, and the life we have always wanted…This class and work with Matthew has left both of us empowered and for the first time we are life partners supporting and loving each other.

In one sentence…working with Matthew has given us the gift of co-creating a life and love that is unconditional and with out limits.
Thank you Matthew… J”

By the way, let me teach you how to get the monkey under control.  Be on my next complementary webinar this Wednesday.  Register Here

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