You Need to Fail to Learn

I got this great little saying, and it says, “A kite rises against the wind.” I think it’s so important for each of us to realize that if we’re going to experience joy, fun and enthusiasm while in the success process, we’ve got to recognize that there needs to be contrast. The pushing against, the destruction and the chaos that happens in our life is truly the most important part of our entire success process.

You never learn anything when you succeed. You learn when you’re failing. You learn when you’re falling. You learn when you’re screwing up. So really engage the idea that you’re going to fail. You’re going to fall down. Get up, brush yourself off, learn that lesson, and keep going.

And I want you to practice going like this. Like, woo-hoo, that was awesome! Because it really is awesome that you are learning.

Pain and Suffering Causes Growth

If you didn’t have pain and suffering, you wouldn’t grow. If you didn’t have pain and suffering, you wouldn’t know what isn’t working. You wouldn’t know what beliefs you have, or what you don’t support. The pain and the suffering that you experience in your life is really just you resisting the situation.

How you interpret a situation is your opinion. Did you even invent your opinion? No. You were conditioned like a dog to believe the way you believe. This is how you poop. Here’s where you pee. And this is how you get dressed. You walk like this and move like this and talk like this. You are just a puppet of the conditioning that you have received.

Consider you’ve never made any choices about what you really want your life to be. That all of your choices that you supposedly made have been influenced by what you were conditioned to believe early on is the right way to operate. Let go of some of that today. Know that your growth is where the pain and the suffering is.

So start to get excited about it. Start to get thrilled when you experience, when you come up against the wall, when you come up to something in your world that isn’t working. I just want you to say, “Yeah! This is it. I’m about to grow. Somethin’ good’s gonna to happen.” Try that and see what happens.

Communicate… Don’t Hallucinate!

istock_000007248761mediumAs a life coach, I deal with clients who are afraid to take actions that will change their life for the positive.  One client in particular was ready to make a big change.  She realized that she hated her job and she was doing it to prove to everyone that she was “someone”.  When I confronted her on this, she went into total meltdown. “I will ruin our family.  My husband will leave me.  I’ll have to start all over.  I can’t do that to my husband,” she sniffled through the tears.  But the truth was, she wasn’t making any money doing what she was doing anyway.

I proposed that she was hallucinating.  I asked her to consider that she knew nothing about what would happen if she changed jobs and that in fact, she was making all this crap up.  She didn’t like it.  But she tried it on.  I took her through the special 5 step responsibility process, she had the talk with her husband and what-a-ya-know… he was 100% in support of her being happy, not obligated!  You must learn to communicate, not hallucinate.

Inspiring Video of Before and After

Make sure you get yourself in my free call.

http://matthewferry.com/bestyearever/

Doesn’t focusing on the worst case scenario attract the worst?

A client is wondering about the Law of Attraction.  He sends me a note and asks, “Matthew, if I do your worst case scenario exercise, won’t I bring the worst case upon me via the Law of Attraction?”

Nope!  Here’s why…

What most people don’t understand about the Law of Attraction is that you are always pulling to you what dominates your thinking.  The Inspired Action Coaches have seen this over and over with clients who are frantically writing their goals, doing affirmations, meditating and visualizing to no avail.  Their life still isn’t what they want.

The Drunk Monkey (your mind chatter) is generally running the show.  You think somewhere around 60,000 thoughts per day.  You are consciously in control of a couple thousand.  All the rest are subroutines designed to keep you alive (in a world where you are definitely going to die).

If The Drunk Monkey identifies your situation as potentially dangerous, it will begin focusing on changing, fixing or correcting it.  Often times, this goes unnoticed.  Yet, the more you focus on fixing your broken life, the more you draw to you that which you are focused on (your broken life).

The worst case scenario exercise is designed to nullify The Drunk Monkey’s obsession with the potentially negative future by a) Writing out the worst possible thing that could happen; and b) Coming up with two possible back-up plans if the worst case actually happened.

It will blow you way how free you actually become in this process.  The moment you write it out is the moment the creative juices start flowing and your life begins to magically turn around.

If you are worried about something negative happening, then try the worst case scenario exercises and enjoy the results.

Empowerment beyond Comprehension

So many of our Inspired Action Coaching clients report this statement, “I feel so empowered and nothing has changed.  I’m dealing with everything in my life with incredible power and velocity.”

Through observation of The Drunk Monkey(your mind chatter) one can begin feeling an empowerment that is beyond comprehension.  By recognizing The Drunk Monkey (the biological functioning of the mind), you are able to experience life beyond fear, anger, doubt and depression.  When you see that The Drunk Monkey is automatic, continuous and nonsensical, you experience empowerment and freedom like no other time in your life.

Today just notice how your mind is not your friend.  Your mind is not you.  Your mind (The Drunk Monkey) is not even on your side.  Keep noticing and feel your power increasing.

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