Is Happiness a Disease?

Originally posted August 24, 2010

Well, it turns out that happiness and sadness both spread like diseases. In a study done by Harvard University and MIT, a mathematical model was put to a study to see if happiness and sadness, if your emotional state infects other people. Guess what? It does.

Over a several-year period, they realized that by applying a traditional, infectious disease simulation to the data they had collected on 1,880 test subjects, the sadness would spread throughout the people who were exposed to it. The happy would spread throughout the people who were affected by it.

I remember my son saying to us at dinner the other day, “It is so weird Dad. When I am here at your house, my complaints disappear so quickly. I am able to maintain my happiness and my joy so much more easily than when I am over at Mom’s.” It just confirmed for me that one person’s commitment to happiness can massively and dramatically affect everyone else in your life.

So what are you committed to? Are you going to spread the disease of the drunk monkey? Or, are you going to spread the disease of your higher self into your life today?

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3 Simple Actions That Make You Happy

Originally posted July 18, 2011

There are three actions that guarantee to your happiness.  Happiness is a skill that anybody can learn.  So most people believe that happiness is some kind of circumference that is outside of yourself.  For example, “When I have the perfect, then I’ll be happier.”  In other words, If this thing outside of myself happens, then I’ll be happy.  A lot of people think happiness is formula.  If I am watching the Super Bowl, having a cigar, drinking a drink with a hot girl on my side, then I’m happy.And those formulas certainly have their momentary hit, but long-term happiness is really just a skill.  It’s really a shift in the way that you’re thinking about yourself and about your circumstances in life.  Nothing needs to change to make you happy.

You Can Choose Happiness by Changing How You Take Action

1.  Devotion. It’s a way of being. Do what you do in the moment to the very best of your ability.  When your operating from that standpoint of really focusing in and doing your best, your mood elevates dramatically.  Even if you aren’t doing it exactly right.  Being intensely focused on doing your best feels good.  If you’re doing the dishes, if you’re walking the dog, if you’re playing with the kids, if you are hanging out with your spouse, if you’re with your friends, do your best and you will get positive feelings.  When you take the same actions you always take with devotion, the same action feels great!
2.  Acts of Service. Helping others, contributing, making a difference, and supporting other people in a selfless way will make you happy.  Anytime that you take your attention off of yourself, your happiness rises.  When you get out of your head and be of service to others, you get a boost to your happiness.   Consider this.  Your unhappiness is just a self-centered focus.  By focusing your attention on the service of others, you take your attention off of your problems and your happiness increases.
3.  Appreciation. What do you like about people?  What do you like about the situations you find yourself in?  Looking for what you like about yourself.  Active appreciation is anti-mind.  The mind, The Drunk Monkey, all that talking in your head, it’s not focused on what’s right, what’s working, what you like, what you’re happy about.  It’s focused on what’s wrong, what might be wrong, & what needs to be improved.  It’s a survival mechanism, so its job is to look for what doesn’t work and then focus on those things, and, of course, that makes you unhappy.Devotion, service and appreciation, those three actions will get you happy. Try them today!
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Don’t Wait, Be Happy Now

So many times my clients say to me, “Well, Matthew, you know, this is just a means to an end. I’m doing this business. I’m doing this project because where it’s going to get me is where I want to go.” You know what I say to that? Means to an end equals suffering. It means suffering today. And you don’t have to do that. You don’t have to get involved in a project or do an activity today because hopefully, someday, it will turn out better so that you can be happy.

I would not recommend operating that way at all. In fact, my goal is that you are inspired and in action. Inspired. What is that? Filled with the spirit to do something. Lit up. Energized. Engaged. How do you do that? Well, you either have to accept that the situation that you’re in – the project that you’ve said, “I’ll do,” or the job that you’ve said, “I’ll do,” is the perfect thing for you now. You either have to work to accept that, or you need to give it up and go and do the thing that will truly make you happy.

Now, either one is an option. But here’s the deal. Don’t wait until someday to be happy. Get happy now. Take on the energy of happiness, and joy, and peace, and excitement, and enthusiasm now and apply that I want you to take that happiness, that peace, that joy, that energy, that excitement, that enthusiasm, and I want you to apply it to what you are involved in now, today. And watch how much better your life gets. Don’t put off happiness. It doesn’t work. It never comes.

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