By: Gayle Winter

Gayle Winter — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 16:27:24 +0000

HI MATTHEW! I a long time friend of Thach’s. In fact I was his mentor when he was what I call a little snot-nosed kid, in the gangsta riding club, could barely speak English and was “full of himself.” However, he always had work ethics. At that time he had three jobs: parking cars at a Chinese Restaurant, Produce Manager at a local Safeway and trying to learn real estate. He was a smart snotty nosed kid though, as he was wise enough to grab on to the most successful realtor in the office to learn the ropes(and that was me at the time). We became immediate friends and when having problem at home, he’d spend the night here. I have seen enormous growth in him and I am proud of him like a mother. There were times when I questioned his intentions around “contribution.” I wasn’t sure if he was truly “real” about it. (after all, my voice of the past was reminding me of some of trouble he had gotten himself into). But it soon became eveident that he was truly committed to making a difference in people’s lives and thus the world. And, man he was making good money doing it (a conflict I’ve always had with myself)
I have been struggling now in what was once a very successful career (even last year, in a down market,I had my best year ever) Then the bottom dropped out. I neededn’t go into the details, but I’m pretty much broke. I e mailed Thach one day and boy he picked the ball right up. He pretty much grabbed my coat jacket collar and said, “listen you know this stuff, why aren’t you practicing it—hey you taught me!! I guess I sort of lost my way along the way, so to speak. Doesn’t really matter why. But I am going to soon be one of his coaches; I attended the lunch last week. I so enjoyed hearing you speak (I’ve heard you before) BTW, your father was one of my first mentors. As I was listening to your tapes and how you described him, I had to laugh. Because I can honestly say, I used to leave his seminars and feel he was too abrasive for my methods. I remember how he used to coach us not to connect or “bond” with our clients–”hell, he’s say, just put the listing package in the mail.” I have built my business on connection. I love people and many of my clients become my good frieinds. However, I realize that my database is down, and that my “reality” has come true: real estate is a lonely business. Outside of listing and selling homes, I have had no life the past 20 years. I work,work,work, and then I go to the gym, and come home and go to bed. Anyone who knows me would tell you I am a very social person; I’ve been called a magnet. But I haven’t been saying yes to opportunities to get outside of this world.
I AM READY.
Lastly, I want to say something about you. When I first came to one of your and Thach’s seminars (it was in Seattle at our little Lakewood Club House) I recall thinking “been there, done that.” I have spent 20 some years in work shops, retreats, personal growth semninars (have done Context Training and Landmark all the way through mastery courses). Anyway, I recall listening to the tape you gave us that day. I think it stayed on the floor of my car along with empty coffee cups and gum wrappers. Hey, it may still be there. BUT, last week, I put your tapes into my car when we left the luncheon (cafe 44 street) and have listened to them three times. Let me say, first I LOVE YOUR HUMOR–I have been called a funny person as well–it gets us through life with a different attitude, I belive. I can twist anything into humor. Anyway, Matthew, I know you haven’t changed since I first met you years ago, but apparently I was ready for a shift of some kind. I woke up one morning after the second round of listening to the tapes, and found I had a new attitude about a lot of things: for starters EVERYTHING! My 92 year mother is living with me and I truly thought I was going to kill her or myself. She is driving me nuts and is very demanding. It has brought up all sorts of things from my past. But now, I’m ready to write a humorous book about my dysfunctional family; I’ve gathered a bunch of women (who were treated less than equal as the daughters of families) and we are ready to start the beginnings of a very funny sitcom. I have no idea where it will go–but it is putting me in front of other people and it isn’t about a failing real estate market.(I’ve been published in the past–but it was about computers) I wake up each morning and choose to bring my mother love; I also am learning to set boundaries and get out of victim mode. I think I am a slow learner. I find myself getting the “concept” of all you teach, but if you asked me to remember the steps, I couldn’t tell you but one or two. It is a feeling. Do you know what I mean? I was at the post office yesterday, there were 25 or more people in line, a couple whom I knew. One was complaining about Sara Palin. I said, wow that seems like so long ago. Then she went on and on in her half-empty cup attitude and I realized that I had the ability to shift her attitude. When she left, she said, “wow, you seem so perky.” I think I’ve always been perky, but she must have seen something different than the last time she saw me. Also, while in line, many were complaining about how long it was taking and bellyaching and this or that(hey it’s Christmas time folks!!!). I think I put a few smiles on peoples faces. That being said, I have no idea where this journey is going to take me, and nothing has instantly changed financially for me (at age 65 I had to borrow money from my mother, which was one of the most diffcult things I’ve done in my life time). I go into victim mode often and question how in the world someone my age hasn’t managed to figure out how to retire by now at least have the option of doing so. “I’m too old to be in this position,” she says to herself. “All I want to do is travel and see the world,” she says. Hey, maybe with some new self language and writing down my intentions that may happen.
Happy Holidays Matthew. You are doing a great job with YOUR intentions and you certanily are making a difference in peoples lives (which is something I wrote down 30 years ago that I wanted to do) Tell that old man of yours, that in spite of being a NAZI, he did a great job. We both know he’ll take some of the credit anyways.
Hugs from Gayle Winter

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By: Gayle Winter