Can you be selfish and driven and live in peace and fulfillment?

Yes and no. Yes, you will discover that forceful success stories desire things because they think it’s an effective survival strategy. The fear drives them and their focused intention pays off.

Are there a lot of Forceful Success Stories? Yes. Do you want to be one of them? Or do you want to live an inspired life, achieving what you seek with joy and effortlessness?

This is the power of a contribution-based mindset. The key to experiencing joy is making a difference for everyone you meet no matter what. Letting go of the fear that you won’t get what you want. Recognizing that you will get everything you want, when you help others get what they want. As you continue to develop your mindset of contribution, you start to ask questions like this: How may I serve? How can I help? What can I do to have this person feel good right now?

Should you take the time to help everyone? No. Your vision will dictate who you will help. You don’t need to worry about it. You already know that your intention will bring the perfect people, at the perfect time to you. So, should you resist helping people that don’t fit with your vision? That’s the strange part about life, you can’t always know or understand the highest and best use of your time.

When you are living in the flow, and paying attention to your vision, the right people show up. You may or may not recognize them, at first. The strange thing is, what may look like a waste of time in the moment, later could turn out to be a very important turning point in the accomplishment of your vision.

When you are in this space of peace, acting with intensity and integrity on your dreams, everything takes care of itself. Trust it. Or, be forceful and experience a driven success that does not typically carry peace with it.

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How to Eliminate Fear From Your Life

1. As a life coach, my job is to support my clients in getting inspired and empowered to take action on their most cherished dreams. A problem that we all face is that fear gets in the way. You know what you want. In fact, most of the time, you even know what to do to get what you want, but you get stopped by fear, doubt, uncertainty. These are emotions that tell you that you’re listening to, or you’re allowing your mind to control your life. Your mind, which I call the “drunk monkey,” is nothing more than a survival tool. It’s a fantastic device that has developed over time for human beings. Its job is to steer us away from danger. Its job, of course, is to steer toward propagating the species, but that’s about it.

2. No goals and dreams are achieved via the mind. Goals and dreams are achieved via inspiration. How do you get the inspiration, when what you want seems so big? Seems too unattainable. Maybe you feel like you’re not enough or you don’t know what to do. You have to begin with the empowerment process.

3. The empowerment process begins with the word aware. There are four words in total: awareness, flexibility, options, and power. Let’s take them one at a time.

4. With awareness, you start to see that your mind is not your friend. You begin to see that the “drunk monkey” in your head is really focused in on what isn’t working, what you don’t like, what might hurt you. I’ll be embarrassed. I won’t look good. I won’t be enough. I’ll feel stupid. I’ll feel like an idiot. My family will leave me. These are the kinds of thoughts that the “drunk monkey” in your head is going to spin for you, when you ask it to do things you don’t normally do, which is what your goals and dreams are, things you don’t normally do, expansion, where you want to go. With awareness, you can start to see that your mind is not on your side. It’s not helping you achieve your goals. It’s just this biology. It’s operating independently of you and it’s doing what it’s doing. That awareness will lead to the second part of the empowerment process, which is flexibility.

5. Once you are aware that your mind is running the show, that you are literally the “Drunk Monkey’s” puppet, you can begin to make choices. This flexibility that you have now, leads to the third part of the process, which is options.

6. As soon as you recognize that your mind is running the show, that the “drunk monkey” is holding the puppet strings of your life and pulling those puppet strings with fear, anxiety, doubt, uncertainty, anger, frustration, as soon as you realize that, a new set of options open up. Well, what if I took the action? What if I went this direction instead? How about if I ask for help? On and on you go, with all these new options popping into your head that weren’t there. Once you realize that your mind is not a goal achievement vehicle or a goal achievement organ, as so many personal developments gurus have espoused in the past, that leads to number four, which is power.

7. When you’re aware of what your mind is doing, you become more flexible. When you are flexible, you see more options. You have optionality in your life. Those options empower you to take new actions. This action is what I call inspired action. Inspired and empowered to take action on your dreams. An energy inside of you, pulling you forward, and having you actually feel confident in the face of what you would normally feel fearful of.

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Wow! What an amazing thing you have!

Originally posted February 27, 2009

istock_000006603014mediumYou were born!  Amazing!  You are reading these words on a computer!  Totally awesome.  Do you realize how lucky you are?  Do you get how fortunate you are?

You are concerned with personal development.  Hello!  That means you are interested in evolving yourself.  That is a very sophisticated pursuit.  That is one of the highest pursuits a person can undertake.  To be in the pursuit of higher awareness means you are not trying to survive.  80% of the world is just concerned with staying alive.  That’s not you.  Do you get how lucky you are?

Today just count your blessings, okay?

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Be in Bliss With Your Children Today at 5pm PST

Last chance to join me for the Raising Conscious Kids Tele-summit.

I’m speaking for FREE today at 5pm PST, don’t miss it.

My topic: Ridiculous Bliss With Your Kids. Doesn’t that sound fun?

Grab your free online pass here

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How to Let Go of Self Importance

A facebook friend asked, “I wanted to ask you how to break the habit of attention seeking or can say self importance. It feels like everything revolves around me!”

My answer:
Self importance is just the drunk monkey feeling insecure. The drunk monkey (the talking in your head) wants to look good, be right, be powerful, rich ect for one very simple reason. It mistakenly believes that being any of those things will ensure the perpetuation of your genes. Get a mate, have status and be powerful. All this is a feeble attempt to win salvation and live for ever through your spawn. Of course your are already eternal, infinite and valuable. Each person is a whirling vibrating swirl of energy that is organized into this body. Energy never dies. Your salvation is guaranteed. Tell the drunk monkey to stop burdening you with the demands of proving to the world that you are good enough to have sex with and propagate the species. Just start living and enjoying each day exactly as it is. Any way there are nearly 7 billion of us these days so your spawn is not needed

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3 Actions That Create Happiness

Over the years, I’ve discovered three actions that can guarantee your happiness. To start off, it’s important for you to know that happiness is a skill that anybody can learn. Most people believe that happiness is some kind of circumference that is outside of yourself. To be happy, many people think that have to own a certain thing, live a certain place, make a certain amount of money, etc. They think, “if this thing happens, then I’ll be happy.” Also, a lot of people think happiness is formula. They need certain events, things, etc to all align in order to be happy. “All I need is the Super Bowl, having a cigar, drinking a drink with a hot girl on my side, man, then I’m happy.”

Those formulas certainly have their momentary hit, but long-term happiness is really just a skill. It’s a shift in the way that you’re thinking about yourself and about your circumstances in life. Nothing needs to change to make you happy.

So here are three actions that you can take that will make you happy. The first action is called devotion. What exactly does devotion mean? It’s a way of being. It’s about being in the moment, and doing what you’re doing in that moment to the very best of your ability. When your operating from that standpoint of really focusing in and doing your best, it will create an extreme sense of happiness for you. If you’re doing the dishes, walking the dog, playing with the kids, hanging out with your spouse, with your friends, whatever it is that you’re doing, focus on that and do your best. You’ll be surprised how much happiness you feel in that moment.

The second is to take actions of service. This is about taking your attention out of your own head. Help others, contribute, make a difference, support something. Anytime that you are able take your focus off of you and out of your head, and move it out there into the world, you will experience a sudden rise in happiness. In other words, consider the following. Your unhappiness is just a self-centered focus. So, by getting your focus out there and serving others, your happiness is going to go through the roof.

The last action to take is appreciation. Look at things in a new way, find what you like about people, find what you like about situations, and find things you like about yourself. This is really the anti-mind. The mind, all that talking in your head, is not focused on what’s right, what’s working, what you like, and what you’re happy about. It’s not focused on that. It’s a survival mechanism, so its job is to look for what doesn’t work and then focus on those things. And that, of course, makes you unhappy. So, work to appreciate your situation, the people around you, and yourself, and your happiness will grow exponentially.

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