5 Reasons Massive Success Will NOT Make You Happy

If you are already successful, then you know that success does not create happiness. In fact, success often creates the exact opposite. Success is often defined as a series of well-managed breakdowns. The more you succeed, the more there is to manage, the more goes wrong and the less time you have for yourself. Look at the landscape of superstars and notice how many self-destruct under the pressure of their success. Often, the more successful you get, the worse your life gets. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

As a life coach to the biggest players in the world, business, entertainment, sports and politics, I have found that there are five reasons success will not make you happy:

1. Happiness is a point of view and not a set of circumstances. Most of my Clients have achieved extraordinary success in their area of expertise and yet they come to me unhappy and wondering when life is finally going to work out. Nothing outside of yourself will make you happy. Only a change in your perspective will make you happy.

2. The mind, which I call “The Drunk Monkey,” is not designed for happiness. The Drunk Monkey, all that talking in your head, is just a part of your biology. You are genetically programmed to survive. The problem for successful people, is that they are not in survival situations. Yet, The Drunk Monkey is focusing its attention on the potentially negative situations in order to avoid it. Put another way, 1000’s of things are going right and the crazy Drunk Monkey focuses all it’s mind power on the 2 things that are going wrong.

3. Success in business, entertainment, athletics or politics does not mean that you are good at everything else. Many of my clients focus all of their attention on the one area they are superstars, because they can derive external pleasure from it. This is often masking the internal pain of being ineffective in relationships, health, mindset, finances, their social life, recreation and being a contributor to society. Happiness occurs naturally when you bring everything into balance.

4. The drive to succeed is often fueled by its opposite. Most people achieve success and then are disappointed to discover it does not resolve the internal feeling of not being enough or not fitting in. Happiness is the next level of success for most people. It takes realizing, that years ago, you accepted false conclusions about yourself as correct and began to live your life as if these misperceptions were true. Now, no matter how much you succeed you never feel like you have made it.

5. To be a big player in the world, is a different skill set than being truly happy with every aspect of your life.

6. True happiness is the next frontier of success for most big players. To achieve it, will take an entirely new set of skills, disciplines, systems and procedures. Many mountains will need be climbed, but in the end, it’s the only journey worth taking.

Feeling Negative Emotions Is Optional, Part III

In Part II, I mentioned a client I was coaching who was bewildered, frantic, upset, angry, and scared. Because I’ve coached thousands of people through these kinds of situations before, I knew this would turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to him. This is an example of the process that I took him through so he could begin to create solutions from an empowered mental state. Take yourself through the process as you read.

A. When you feel yourself having the symptoms of negative emotions, say to yourself, “I’m choosing this negative feeling by focusing on what dissatisfies me. Now I’m going to choose something that feels good and be the creator of my circumstances.”

B. Ask yourself, “Is there anything in life that I am happy about right now?”

C. Think about a hobby you love.

D. Think about good times you’ve had with your loved ones that were really special.

E. Think about a song that you love. Sing it to yourself or hum it out loud.

(Remember, I’m not asking you to ignore what’s upsetting you or to stick your head in the sand. I’m asking you to get yourself in a more resourceful and empowered state of mind before you act. Dealing with circumstances from a negative state will just attract more of what you don’t want. If you are going to solve problems or situations with negative feelings in the background, you will only be creating more of what made you feel that way. That’s the way the universe works! If you solve issues using negative emotions, you’ll get more of what you don’t want. Okay, back to the process.)

F. Now that you have yourself feeling good again, let’s go in a new direction. Ask yourself, “If there was anything good about this situation, what would it be?”

G. If you’re still resisting, ask, “If I made up something good about this situation, what could I make up that would make me laugh and feel good?”

H. Ask yourself, “If I was someone else looking at this situation, what could I learn from this that would be valuable?”

That should get you moving in the right direction. Remember, you are the creator of your life experience, so make up stuff that empowers you and stop making up things that are disempowering you.

Be cautious about inventing righteous and cynical lessons from your experience like, “I would learn to not deal with such a @%#$ like that ever again!” Remember to check in with your body. How does it feel when you say it?

In less then 30 minutes, my client was seeing himself for who he really was: powerful, resourceful, creative, flexible, and certainly a great asset to any organization he chose
to work with. You’ll be happy to know that today he is happier then ever before and his career is more promising then he ever could have imagined!

Remember, your experience of life is how you are feeling. When you feel good, you’ll find yourself saying, “Life is good.” When you feel bad, the opposite is true. Do you want to have an amazing life? Keep changing your perspective until you do. Keep these questions in your wallet or in your purse. When you are gripped by negative emotions, run yourself through the process, get yourself back to feeling good and take effective action to have your life be what you desire! It is your life–no one else is going to make you feel good. It is up to you to be the creator of your experience.

Feeling Negative Emotions Is Optional, Part II

Would you rather be the victim of your circumstances or the creator of your circumstances? When you are feeling that surge of negative emotion, it’s because you’ve narrowed your view to something that contradicts your opinion. You’ve told yourself, “This shouldn’t be.” Please be wary of these words and phrases: “should,” “shouldn’t,” “must,” and “have to.” This type of language creates a reality that makes you susceptible to suffering in all of its forms. You are naturally releasing your rigid opinion of how things “should be” by reading this article. You are discovering that flexibility is essential for happiness. Happiness is essential for having a great life.

Let’s look at some simple ideas that will help you have an amazing life and get you back to feeling good no matter what circumstance you find yourself in. Any corrective action you take to better your life will be more effective when you feel relaxed and at peace. Here are some simple ways to get back to feeling good and eliminating negative emotions.

1. Become aware of the characteristics of negative feelings. Does your stomach tighten? Do you get tension in your neck? Do you clench your teeth? Does your breathing get shallow? Start making a mental list of the symptoms of negative thoughts for yourself.

How many times have you been taken in by your negative emotions? You say something you regret later, you do something mean, or you simply shut down. The goal here is to be empowered regardless of the situation. Therefore, knowing you are about to go down the road of negativity is crucial for redirection.

2. Learn to quickly shift your mind to a list of what you love about your life, your job, your family, your experiences, etc.

For example, a client that I coach is one of the top people on Wall Street. He is well respected and very powerful. Yet, he recently got fired and was totally stunned! During our phone call he was bewildered, frantic, upset, angry, and scared. Because I’ve coached thousands of people through these kinds of situations before, I knew this would turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to him. To make sure of that result, he was going to have to figure out how to become empowered. Only then could he take appropriate action to rebound from this situation.

5 Reasons Massive Success Will NOT Make You Happy

If you are already successful, then you know that success does not create happiness. In fact, success often creates the exact opposite. Success is often defined as a series of well-managed breakdowns. The more you succeed, the more there is to manage, the more goes wrong and the less time you have for yourself. Look at the landscape of superstars and notice how many self-destruct under the pressure of their success. Often, the more successful you get, the worse your life gets. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

As a life coach to the biggest players in the world, business, entertainment, sports and politics, I have found that there are five reasons success will not make you happy:

1. Happiness is a point of view and not a set of circumstances. Most of my Clients have achieved extraordinary success in their area of expertise and yet they come to me unhappy and wondering when life is finally going to work out. Nothing outside of yourself will make you happy. Only a change in your perspective will make you happy.

2. The mind, which I call “The Drunk Monkey,” is not designed for happiness. The Drunk Monkey, all that talking in your head, is just a part of your biology. You are genetically programmed to survive. The problem for successful people, is that they are not in survival situations. Yet, The Drunk Monkey is focusing its attention on the potentially negative situations in order to avoid it. Put another way, 1000’s of things are going right and the crazy Drunk Monkey focuses all it’s mind power on the 2 things that are going wrong.

3. Success in business, entertainment, athletics or politics does not mean that you are good at everything else. Many of my clients focus all of their attention on the one area they are superstars, because they can derive external pleasure from it. This is often masking the internal pain of being ineffective in relationships, health, mindset, finances, their social life, recreation and being a contributor to society. Happiness occurs naturally when you bring everything into balance.

4. The drive to succeed is often fueled by its opposite. Most people achieve success and then are disappointed to discover it does not resolve the internal feeling of not being enough or not fitting in. Happiness is the next level of success for most people. It takes realizing, that years ago, you accepted false conclusions about yourself as correct and began to live your life as if these misperceptions were true. Now, no matter how much you succeed you never feel like you have made it.

5. To be a big player in the world, is a different skill set than being truly happy with every aspect of your life.

6. True happiness is the next frontier of success for most big players. To achieve it, will take an entirely new set of skills, disciplines, systems and procedures. Many mountains will need be climbed, but in the end, it’s the only journey worth taking.

Feeling Negative Emotions Is Optional, Part III

In Part II, I mentioned a client I was coaching who was bewildered, frantic, upset, angry, and scared. Because I’ve coached thousands of people through these kinds of situations before, I knew this would turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to him. This is an example of the process that I took him through so he could begin to create solutions from an empowered mental state. Take yourself through the process as you read.

A. When you feel yourself having the symptoms of negative emotions, say to yourself, “I’m choosing this negative feeling by focusing on what dissatisfies me. Now I’m going to choose something that feels good and be the creator of my circumstances.”

B. Ask yourself, “Is there anything in life that I am happy about right now?”

C. Think about a hobby you love.

D. Think about good times you’ve had with your loved ones that were really special.

E. Think about a song that you love. Sing it to yourself or hum it out loud.

(Remember, I’m not asking you to ignore what’s upsetting you or to stick your head in the sand. I’m asking you to get yourself in a more resourceful and empowered state of mind before you act. Dealing with circumstances from a negative state will just attract more of what you don’t want. If you are going to solve problems or situations with negative feelings in the background, you will only be creating more of what made you feel that way. That’s the way the universe works! If you solve issues using negative emotions, you’ll get more of what you don’t want. Okay, back to the process.)

F. Now that you have yourself feeling good again, let’s go in a new direction. Ask yourself, “If there was anything good about this situation, what would it be?”

G. If you’re still resisting, ask, “If I made up something good about this situation, what could I make up that would make me laugh and feel good?”

H. Ask yourself, “If I was someone else looking at this situation, what could I learn from this that would be valuable?”

That should get you moving in the right direction. Remember, you are the creator of your life experience, so make up stuff that empowers you and stop making up things that are disempowering you.

Be cautious about inventing righteous and cynical lessons from your experience like, “I would learn to not deal with such a @%#$ like that ever again!” Remember to check in with your body. How does it feel when you say it?

In less then 30 minutes, my client was seeing himself for who he really was: powerful, resourceful, creative, flexible, and certainly a great asset to any organization he chose
to work with. You’ll be happy to know that today he is happier then ever before and his career is more promising then he ever could have imagined!

Remember, your experience of life is how you are feeling. When you feel good, you’ll find yourself saying, “Life is good.” When you feel bad, the opposite is true. Do you want to have an amazing life? Keep changing your perspective until you do. Keep these questions in your wallet or in your purse. When you are gripped by negative emotions, run yourself through the process, get yourself back to feeling good and take effective action to have your life be what you desire! It is your life–no one else is going to make you feel good. It is up to you to be the creator of your experience.

Feeling Negative Emotions Is Optional, Part II

Would you rather be the victim of your circumstances or the creator of your circumstances? When you are feeling that surge of negative emotion, it’s because you’ve narrowed your view to something that contradicts your opinion. You’ve told yourself, “This shouldn’t be.” Please be wary of these words and phrases: “should,” “shouldn’t,” “must,” and “have to.” This type of language creates a reality that makes you susceptible to suffering in all of its forms. You are naturally releasing your rigid opinion of how things “should be” by reading this article. You are discovering that flexibility is essential for happiness. Happiness is essential for having a great life.

Let’s look at some simple ideas that will help you have an amazing life and get you back to feeling good no matter what circumstance you find yourself in. Any corrective action you take to better your life will be more effective when you feel relaxed and at peace. Here are some simple ways to get back to feeling good and eliminating negative emotions.

1. Become aware of the characteristics of negative feelings. Does your stomach tighten? Do you get tension in your neck? Do you clench your teeth? Does your breathing get shallow? Start making a mental list of the symptoms of negative thoughts for yourself.

How many times have you been taken in by your negative emotions? You say something you regret later, you do something mean, or you simply shut down. The goal here is to be empowered regardless of the situation. Therefore, knowing you are about to go down the road of negativity is crucial for redirection.

2. Learn to quickly shift your mind to a list of what you love about your life, your job, your family, your experiences, etc.

For example, a client that I coach is one of the top people on Wall Street. He is well respected and very powerful. Yet, he recently got fired and was totally stunned! During our phone call he was bewildered, frantic, upset, angry, and scared. Because I’ve coached thousands of people through these kinds of situations before, I knew this would turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to him. To make sure of that result, he was going to have to figure out how to become empowered. Only then could he take appropriate action to rebound from this situation.

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