I recieved an interesting question from a facebook friend this morning, “Whenever i am happy and do stuff that makes me happy… it annoys people! I have fun… and I kinda like being crazy!! I like being what I am and I don’t care if people say that I am too silly or immature. It actually makes me happy that I can have fun and they can’t. Isn’t is bad that they are getting annoyed and pissed off? What should i do? Change my behavior?”
There are two parts to look at. First do you want to be in alignment with these people? If the answer is “Yes” then you talk to them about your behavior and find out why they want you to change. If they are important enough to you, then you consider being flexible and making some changes. Maybe there is something about your behavior that is destructive to your friendships that you are
Alex and I traveled to new Mexico today to speak to a group of real estate agents about how to get into Inspired Action. The event went fabulously because we pre paved it with our positive expectations and words of affirmation.
We were flying Southwest Airlines home which means we needed to check in early if we wanted to choose great seats. When we arrived at the airport I jokingly said to alex, ”Ouch! We forgot to check in early. So we are going to be crammed into the back of the plane!”
To our delight we were some of the first passengers to check in and got an A boarding pass. But our flight was massively delayed. We decided to sit in the cafe and do work on our laptops while waiting for our plane to arrive. After working in a trance for a few hours I look at my clock and was shocked to realize that our flight was leaving in 20 minutes! We jumped up from our seats and literally ran to our gate knowing that most airlines close the boarding process 15 minutes before the plane is scheduled to leave. To our chagrin everyone was already on the plane and my negative affirmation came true.
The moral of the story? The universe wants to please you. It wants you to live life exactly as you please. Which means you posses the free will to screw yourself over if you so choose.
Be careful what you affirm because it’s going to happen.
If you have awareness, you can generate your own context. With the right context you can be empowered no matter what the situation is.
Normally we do not take responsibility for the context we create in a situation. We pretend that we are at the effect of our circumstances. This is a lie that fundamentally kills off our power and our joy in life.
This week I’ve noticed that my clients make unconditional statements that trap them in a reality they don’t want.
One said, “I’m non committal” This is a false statement. You aren’t anything until you declare it. You might have moments when you can’t decide and then there are other times when you can. A more powerful way to say this is, “Right now I seem to be having troubles deciding. But I know that my lack of clarity will give way to clarity and again. In the mean time I’m simply going to be open to all the aspects of life that will come to help me choose.”
Another said, “I just can’t” Totally false. It’s not that you can’t. It is that you won’t. Better to be honest, “Right now I don’t wan to to do this. I know it’s important but I just don’t feel like doing anything about it. I’ve been in this place before an I know that my inspiration will return and I will finally get into action. If not, I will simply recognize that I don’t want to take the action and cancel my promise to do so.”
Someone said, “I don’t do that” Not true. You don’t want to do that. Its not that you don’t, as it you can’t. It is that you won’t as in you don’t want to.
So often our language implies that there are forces greater then ourselves dictating our choices and behavior. Sorry. Not true. The responsibility for you life lies squarely on your shoulders. Enjoy that power.
This morning I got up and went to the gym. Whew!!! It’s been 25 days. Last night I realized I’d been in a breakdown. It all started with a 7 day holiday in Hawaii. When I was there I indulged on foods I don’t normally eat, didn’t exercise and my sleep cycle changed with the time zone. When I returned home I had (stupidly in hindsight) scheduled myself to work for 10 days straight. I never gave myself time to gently return to my routine.
Looking back, I can see that I was smiling on the outside but slightly complaining on the inside. Those complaints are attractive. They led to justifications of destruction. “I deserve to have this sugar! I’ve been working hard!” My Drunk Monkey would say to me and “You are to tired to get up and workout” Well next thing I knew my thinking started getting cloudy, I began getting grumpy. The worse it got, the worse it became.
All it takes to get off the destruction train is one action. Last night on a business call I admitted to a business partner that I was on a downward spiral and that today I was going to take steps in a positive upward spiral. In other words I admitted it publicly and declared new actions publicly. That was the trick. This morning I feel great. I plan to keep moving myself in the direction of feeling good again. How about you?
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