Having a Job Does Not Make You Happy

Getting a job will not make you happy. I know many of you think that it will, but it won’t. In fact, I was reading a survey done by Deliotte Shift. It was a index survey, and they discovered that eight percent of the people who are employed today are dissatisfied with their job. Why? Because happiness is not a set of circumstances, happiness is a skill set that you take on. It’s a set of disciplines. It’s a discipline of being optimistic. That’s a discipline.

How do you implement being optimistic? You have to being to notice that the mind, which I call the drunk monkey in your head, is focused 100 percent on trying to keep you safe in situations that are not even dangerous. It’s trying to analyze what danger might come, so it’s focused on everything negative.

I was just reading an article published by Harvard University and their psychology department. They put out an iPhone app which had 2200 people give status updates on what their mood was in that moment, and what they were doing. And they received 250,000 status updates. And then, they analyzed them.

You know what they found? They found that people were the most unhappy when they let their thoughts wander, meaning when they were not focusing their thoughts on something, their mind defaulted to negativity that made them unhappy. Now, this is not new news. It’s just exciting that someone is validating it.

Your mind is not your friend. It doesn’t like you. It’s not interested in you. It’s not interested in your happiness. The mind is, number one, there to survive. It wants to steer you away from danger, so it’s going to look for those things that are potentially dangerous and negative, and focus on them. That’s going to make you unhappy because the truth is you have a relatively good life.

And yes, you may not have a job right now, and yes, you will get a job. But you’re not going to get a job if you’re a stinky jerk. You’re not gonna get a job if you’re negative, and pissed off, and freaking out, and dissatisfied. You need to start practicing principles that are going to get you into a happy and optimistic state.

And by getting into a happy and optimistic state, you’re going to feel better. When you feel better, you’re more attractive. You’re more resourceful. You’re more creative. You’re more engaging. You’re more charming. They key here is to feel good now.

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5 Steps to Eliminate Stress

There are five steps that I say will help you to eliminate your anxiety. After working with more than 8,000 people and coaching them on a weekly basis to live in states of happiness and peace, and succeed at the highest levels, I can tell you, I’ve dealt with a lot of people with anxiety.

First thing that you need to do, number one, is to remember to breathe. If you’re feeling some anxiety right now, just breathe. I just want you to take a deep breath in through your nose, and hold it. And I want you to push out your stomach. And then blow it out slowly. And let’s take another deep breath in right now. Hold it. Push your stomach way out, just really push you stomach out. Blow all that – get all of that anxiety out of there, and then blow. Just that right there will start to bring a little relief.

The second thing to help you to relieve your anxiety is to write out the worst-case scenario. What that means is your the mind, the drunk monkey, is turning and turning saying “Oh my God, what are we gonna do?” Most anxiety comes from the drunk monkey in your head prophesying a negative future, and the truth is, the negative future is probably not coming the way that the drunk monkey says, so you need to write it out. Write out exactly what the drunk monkey is saying in your head. Write out the worst-case scenario. And go all the way down to the deepest, darkest moments, and then write an action plan for what you would do once you went to that worst case.

You’ll find that writing it out brings you a tremendous amount of relief. The third thing is exercise. If you will exercise and just get out there and move, even just go out and take a walk, it’s going to relieve some stress. Even doing some push-ups, some sit-ups, or going up and down your stairs if it’s too cold outside. Just getting your heart pumping will start to relieve some stress.

The fourth thing is to actually meditate, to actually just take some time, meditate, prayer, contemplate, whatever word you use for that, just take some time. Close your eyes, and just take some deep breaths, and get into a different zone, and do it until the mind stops. The mind is just going to go, and go, and go, and go, and go, and go. And then, eventually, you’re gonna go into some altered state. Now, you may consider utilizing one of the meditations that I have. Go to MatthewFerry.com to track down some of the meditations that I do, or go to iTunes, and download them there. Or you can just go free form.

The fifth one is to just see the mind for what it is. So your mind is trying to protect you, and that’s your mind’s job. All the talking in your head is trying to keep you safe. The issue is that you’re not really in a dangerous situation. Most of the time, the anxiety and stress you’re experiencing is more about embarrassment, or it’s more about not fitting in. It’s some trigger that is not really real.

So just practice seeing the mind trying to protect you, and just realize there is not actually a dangerous situation. There’s no need for you to be freaking out right now. Try those things, and notice what a powerful difference it will in getting you back to a place of peace and ease.

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Bikini’s Breakthroughs Bliss & Happiness

I recieved this unsolicited from Sherry Haylett today and I was moved to tears of joy.  Sherry has done all the training in the Inspired Action Weekly, she’s coached with me personally and she just completed the Breakthrough to Bliss weekend retreat.  I hope you are as touched as I was :-)

Breakthroughs, Bliss & Happiness

Sherry Haylett

“Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and wondered “Who am I?  What is wrong with me?  Why am I here?  Why I cant I?  When will I ever just get it?”  You know, get the relationship, get the job, get the friends etc.  Well, that was me before I met Matthew Ferry.

I came from one of those “dysfunctional” families.  But hasn’t everyone?  I could have used that as an excuse for the rest of my life but I wanted a “life”!  Problem was I couldn’t keep a relationship, always looking for the “me” job, never felt good in my own skin.  Matthew helped me change all of that.

One day I called Matthew, said, “I need help” and frankly I just meant in my real estate business.  I had just quit my brokerage, became my own broker and started my own shop with my name gleaming outside the front door.  Truth is, I was scared to death.  Who am I fooling thinking I can do this on my own?  I needed help and in a very short period of time Matthew did more for me than any of the coaches, counselors and consultants I paid over the last 20 years.  The help he gave me has completely change my life.  I finally feel like I have one.  After working with Matthew I am confident, capable, happy, healthy, free from the guilt and pain of the past.  How did I do it?  One day at a time, video at a time, one seminar at a time, one coaching lesson at a time and one relationship after another Matthew helped me take responsibility for my own power.   It wasn’t easy…but now..life is MUCH easier.

I now make more money than I could have ever imagined making, I sell more homes than any other Broker or agent in my area,  I no longer let people use me as a door mat, I stand up for myself, I actually understand people now—fear is no longer running my relationships—I respect people and I get their respect.  I am no longer a victim.  I am no longer lonely.

50 In a Bikini Contest

Third Place for Height (Sherry's on the right)

Im 50 years young and this year I have “Transformed my Fear into Action!”.  This year I got up on stage and competed in a bikini contest with girls younger than my daughter!!  Talk about confidence!  I never would have had the courage to do it without Matthew’s help.  I still don’t have the perfect relationship in my life, but at least now I know what I deserve.   I know I don’t have to fix people or I don’t have to help them in order for them to love me.  Most importantly, I love myself.  I’m more forgiving, I’m closer to God and I realize that this life will be whatever I want it to be.  I’m in control.

I am forever changed by the work put out by Matthew Ferry.  I am forever grateful that he spends his time making sure his message gets out to the world.  I know it will change the world for the better, just like it has changed me for the better.  Thank you Matthew! – Sherry Haylett“

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Congrats to Susan Sly

My super powerful client Susan Sly hit her isagenix targets for the year and make a profound difference in thousands of peoples lives in the process.  She is one of highest paid women in the field of Multi Level Marketing.  Wow.  What an inspiration.  GO SUSAN!!

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You Are Not a Psychic

If you want to be happy, then you need to stop pretending that you’re psychic. You need to quit pretending that you can look at the outside of people and see who they are. You can’t. You have no idea who people are. You look at someone and you think, “Oh, that’s what that person is.” And then, they do something different, it breaks your expectations.

When your expectations get broken, you feel anxiety, and stress, and you may even feel anger and hostility. It messes with your emotions. You need to quit pretending that you’re psychic. You’re not psychic. You can’t tell who people are. You also can’t tell what the future is.

And yet, so often, you are thinking, “Well, the future’s going to be like this.” And then, when it’s not like that, you’re depressed, disappointed, upset, and angry. You’re not psychic. You don’t know how the future is going to be. However the world turns out is how it turns out.

And your opinion about it isn’t going to change it. All your opinion will cause you is suffering. If you want to begin to experience more happiness, more joy, more peace in your life, consider giving up that you know how it’s all going to turn out. Consider giving up that you know how people are supposed to be. You don’t.

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Maryann Candito Interview

Maryann Candito is a Women’s Divorce Recovery coach , EFT practitioner, and certified law of attraction life coach. I had the pleasure of conducting an amazing interview with Maryann. She can be found on her web site, http://www.afterthedivorce.net/

Click on the audio player to listen to this fantastic interview! Thank you, Maryann!

[audio:http://matthewferry.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/Maryann-Candito-Interview.mp3|titles=Maryann Candito Interview]

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