Relationship Bliss

Dated: date September 24, 2010 – 1:29 pm

Relationship bliss. How do you achieve this? It’s really simple. You have to give up being right. You need to give up that the other person is wrong. You’ve got to give up that your way is the only way. You need to recognize, very simply, that your partner, your spouse, your lover was raised by other people who have a totally different way of operating in the world. Ultimately, you need to stop converting the person that you are in relationship with to your style. They don’t want to be your style. They want to be their style. So just let them be the style that they are and instead devote yourself to their joy. Spend your time focused on creating their joy, and your joy will explode. All you have to do is focus on how you can help them be happy, and your happiness will be unbelievable.

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What Makes You Suffer?

Dated: date September 23, 2010 – 2:27 pm

Your point of view is what makes you suffer, nothing else. None of the circumstances in your life, none of the people in your life, where you were born, the circumstances with which you were born, where you find yourself now. You getting fired from your job does not cause you to suffer. Your children not doing what you want them to do does cause you to suffer. Your suffering is a function of the opinion that you have, and you have an opinion that life shouldn’t be the way that it is.

I hate to break the news that when you have that opinion, you’re going to suffer. And so consider that you’re holding people, the world and everyone around you accountable to agreements that they never made. You want to get out of the suffering? Let go of those agreements and begin to align with the way the world is and see what happens.

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If Life Gives You Lemons…

Dated: date September 22, 2010 – 2:54 pm

Your mom dies, yes. Your dog dies, yes. You break your leg, your car gets stolen, you get hurt, you get screwed over, you get ripped off. Don’t think of these things as only negative. All of these things are valuable tools for you to learn. Contrast is exactly what you need to create the happiness and the joy in your life. If things were going perfectly for you all the time, you’d be miserable. The challenge, the getting knocked off balance, having to regain, having to learn, having to grow… that’s where the joy is. To get into a state of ridiculous bliss, you’ve got to begin to acknowledge that everything that is happening is the perfect thing for you.

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How Do You Set Big Enough Goals To Keep You Motivated?

Dated: date September 22, 2010 – 9:19 am

You can never set “big” enough goals to keep you motivated and working everyday.  A more reliable process is to set goals that “mean” enough to you that you are inspired to keep working every day.  Inspiration is defined as imbued with the spirit to do something.  That can only be accomplished through meaning.  Consider that the bigger problem is that you are looking at your current work as “hard”.  A far more powerful idea is to change the relationship you have with work.  In my book Creating Sales Velocity I talk about writing a gratitude list every day.  Try writing one just focused on work and notice that work gets easy, effortless and enjoyable.

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Gratitude, Purpose and Kindness – A Quote from David Hawkins

Dated: date September 21, 2010 – 4:04 pm

“Even the most simple actions, such as peeling a patato, can be accompanied by resentment or by devotion to life out of joy, knowing that one is supporting life through life.

In gratitude for the gift of life, one dedicates that life back as a gift to God through selfless service to His creation as all of life. With this dedication, one validates the sacredness of all life and treats it with respect.

When we stop to assist a helpless beetle with a twig so it can turn over off its back and resume life, the entire universe knows it and responds” Dr. David Hawkins Eye of the I

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What To Do When Your React Negatively To People You Love

Dated: date September 21, 2010 – 2:21 pm

A client writes, “My mom brings out the tribal warrior in me and we have some pretty intense exchanges. Today I was practicing being compassionate and thinking she is doing the best she can and then in her presents I felt furious. My nerves were on edge and our exchange was terrible. What can I do when I feel like just out of nowhere provoked intensely. I know I am not a victim of my mom but she makes me really mad. I think she acts inappropriately and out of bounds.”

My response: Somewhere along the line, The Drunk Monkey has decided that your mom is a threat. Now her presence represents potential danger. Of course this is a delusion. The only way out is to notice (which you are) and then own it with your mom. You must get with your mom and apologize for being reactive.

Sit with her and say, “Mom for some reason my brain has decided that I am the ruler of the universe and it has declared that your behavior is wrong and my behavior is right. Apparently some time in the past my nervous system got tweaked and I started protecting myself against you, as if you were a threat. But I can see now mom, that you are not a threat to me. You did things differently. You do things in ways that I don’t agree with. But these things are not a threat to me. I apologize for being unconscious around you and not allowing you to just be yourself. I promise to catch myself reacting to you. I promise to allow you to be exactly as you are and accept that you do things differently.”

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