Does Having Children Make You Happy?

In a paper named a “Global Perspective on Happiness and Fertility” the researchers asked: Taking all things together, would you say you are very happy, quite happy, somewhat happy, or not at all happy with people who have children? There was a wide variety of responses.

They tried to tie it together to some socio-economic factor, but the truth is – whether you have kids or not will not determine if you are happy. How you perceive the situation is going to make you happy or not happy.

If you are feeling dominated by your children, then you are not going to be happy about it.

How do you feel dominated by your children? You feel like they have control. You feel like they are deciding what the mood and what the actions are in the family. When you have struck some equilibrium where everybody gets to play, everyone gets to decide, you feel fulfilled and satisfied, you feel expressed, then guess what – you are going to feel happy.

Your happiness depends on you, not external factors.

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How Do You Love the Work That You Do?

How do you love the work that you do? So often the work that you are doing doesn’t feel like it is necessarily your life’s purpose. And yet, you were drawn to this work. If you’re interested in finding work that is your life purpose, and you don’t feel like you are there yet, there is a way to get there. You need to actually begin to accept, appreciate, and honor the work that you do.

Where you stand in this moment is the bridge to that ultimate thing that will bring you the fulfillment. In other words, you need the contrast of now to bring about that incredible inspiration that will lead you to the work that is your ultimate work, that work that will bring incredible fulfillment and desire.

I like the way that Napoleon Hill says it. He says there is the seed of equivalent benefit in every adversity. And the mind is often thinking, “Well, this particular job that I’m in now is a bit of an adversity. I don’t like it. It doesn’t feel good. I’m not happy about it.” But it is bringing you to that thing that you want.

So, here’s the trick. Make a list of all the things that are great, wonderful, that work, that you’re excited about, that you’re happy about. In the current position/job/ask that you’re taking on, get connected to the fact that there are good things occurring right now.

Get connected to what is working. Then make a list of all the things that you want it to be, additionally. What else do you want it to be? So yes, these are the things that are good, but there’s more to be good. What else do you want it to be?

If you get connected to what works, you’ll find that more of it works for you. You’ll find that it leads to greater opportunity. If you then identify what else you want it to be, you’ll find that those things that you want it to be will start to come to you. Where you are now is perfect.

It’s leading to where you wanna go. The contrast that you’re experiencing in this moment is leading you to that next level of joy, self-expression and fulfillment that you desire in this endeavor. Do the 10-10 visualization. That’s all this is.

Ten things you love about it, ten things you want it to be. And watch what happens. What you want is coming when you focus on it.

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How To Stay Focused on Success

I received a question in from one of my clients that said, “How do I stay focused on success, Matthew, when I’m just sick and tired of waiting for it?” And the answer is actually very simple. First of all, you must begin to acknowledge everything that has already occurred. You’ve already come so far, and you don’t acknowledge it.

There’s so much to your success that you’re already used to so you don’t notice it. Therefore, you’re not grateful. And there’s a reason for that. We’re not grateful because the mind’s job is to find things about us and about the world and about life that are potentially dangerous.

And so your mind is constantly saying, “Okay. I’m glad you’re successful. But what about that? What about this? That’s wrong. And this is wrong.” If you really pay attention to the drunk monkey in your head, it is totally focused in on how you are wrong.

So in order to get back to that renewed, rejuvenated place, you must get grateful. Now, what I recommend is that you do the 10 – 10 visualization process. Every night before you go to bed, I want you to just close your eyes and envision 10 things that you love about your life, and then 10 goals and dreams that are exciting to you.

Success is a progressive realization of a worthwhile goal. So success is not an outcome. You don’t get there. The moment you’re there, you already want something else.

So what you want to do is get grateful, get happy now. Every night before you go to bed, envision all the things you’re grateful for. Feel that gratitude. And then I want you to think about the things you want to create, your goals and dreams. And when you do that, it will blow you away how much happier and fulfilled you’ll be with today, which gives you energy to make tomorrow better.

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You Need to Fail to Learn

I got this great little saying, and it says, “A kite rises against the wind.” I think it’s so important for each of us to realize that if we’re going to experience joy, fun and enthusiasm while in the success process, we’ve got to recognize that there needs to be contrast. The pushing against, the destruction and the chaos that happens in our life is truly the most important part of our entire success process.

You never learn anything when you succeed. You learn when you’re failing. You learn when you’re falling. You learn when you’re screwing up. So really engage the idea that you’re going to fail. You’re going to fall down. Get up, brush yourself off, learn that lesson, and keep going.

And I want you to practice going like this. Like, woo-hoo, that was awesome! Because it really is awesome that you are learning.

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Pain and Suffering Causes Growth

If you didn’t have pain and suffering, you wouldn’t grow. If you didn’t have pain and suffering, you wouldn’t know what isn’t working. You wouldn’t know what beliefs you have, or what you don’t support. The pain and the suffering that you experience in your life is really just you resisting the situation.

How you interpret a situation is your opinion. Did you even invent your opinion? No. You were conditioned like a dog to believe the way you believe. This is how you poop. Here’s where you pee. And this is how you get dressed. You walk like this and move like this and talk like this. You are just a puppet of the conditioning that you have received.

Consider you’ve never made any choices about what you really want your life to be. That all of your choices that you supposedly made have been influenced by what you were conditioned to believe early on is the right way to operate. Let go of some of that today. Know that your growth is where the pain and the suffering is.

So start to get excited about it. Start to get thrilled when you experience, when you come up against the wall, when you come up to something in your world that isn’t working. I just want you to say, “Yeah! This is it. I’m about to grow. Somethin’ good’s gonna to happen.” Try that and see what happens.

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Is Happiness a Disease?

Well, it turns out that happiness and sadness both spread like diseases. In a study done by Harvard University and MIT, a mathematical model was put to a study to see if happiness and sadness, if your emotional state infects other people. Guess what? It does.

Over a several-year period, they realized that by applying a traditional, infectious disease simulation to the data they had collected on 1,880 test subjects, the sadness would spread throughout the people who were exposed to it. The happy would spread throughout the people who were affected by it.

I remember my son saying to us at dinner the other day, “It is so weird Dad. When I am here at your house, my complaints disappear so quickly. I am able to maintain my happiness and my joy so much more easily than when I am over at Mom’s.” It just confirmed for me that one person’s commitment to happiness can massively and dramatically affect everyone else in your life.

So what are you committed to? Are you going to spread the disease of the drunk monkey? Or, are you going to spread the disease of your higher self into your life today?

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