Turn Challenges into Success

Dated: date May 25, 2010 – 2:50 pm

Some people turn a life challenge into success. What differentiates those who become successful? The answer really is one of commitment versus attachment, and future versus past. When a person looks at a challenge and turns it into a success, it’s because they are committed to something and not getting wrapped up in what this challenge means based on the past.

Often a past experience of failure or setback will influence our current way of dealing with the challenges and setbacks that we face. The successful person will come up to a new challenge, look at it in relationship to the future that they’re committed to creating, and then move past it. Break-downs are the beginning of break-through.

Success is a series of well-managed break-downs. Successful people know this, and therefore, they utilize the challenge as an opportunity to grow, to learn, and evolve and move to the next level. So, the next time you come up against a challenge, know that it is the beginning of your next phase, your next level. This is the secret that successful people use to turn challenges into successes.

Life Coach Matthew Ferry Life Coaching website http://www.matthewferry.com.

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Law of Attraction and Sick Kids

Dated: date May 18, 2010 – 3:01 pm

I answered this on Yahoo Answers and I thought you might enjoy my thoughts.

“A friend recently introduced me to The Secret: Law of Attraction, a concept I found extremely interesting. Upon further research, I found that it is strongly linked with the new thought movement. Both of these concepts believe that everything in our lives is attracted to us via our thoughts, so illness comes from negative thoughts. How can this be applied to, for example, a 6-year-old boy with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, or a very ill baby, as they aren’t going to have negative thoughts enough to bring on such illness? I just don’t understand how this works, and when asking my friend, who is a complete believer in this, she didn’t know the answer.”

My Answer:
New thought is not a theory of everything.  People are born with certain propensities toward health, well-being, attitude etc.  You will find those who are attracted to New Thought are searching for meaning.  There are just some things we don’t understand.

Why a child is born with a life threatening or debilitating illness is a mystery.  That being said, the child’s life is still being dramatically influenced by his or her thoughts and the thoughts of others.  An infant is positively influenced by the loving and secure feelings of those around it.

If the 6-year-old child, by the grace of God or some higher power, is able to step back and feel blessed for being alive as long as he or she has been, then a transformation will occur in the child’s experience.  Life will suddenly seem “better”.  Though nothing will have changed.  This might influence the child’s health condition in a positive way, and it might not.  It is still a mystery as to why some people miraculously heal while others don’t.  One thing is for certain.  If the child begins to feel gratitude for the time he or she has had here on Earth, then the experience of the illness will change.  The child will no longer feel like a victim and that will improve the child’s condition dramatically.  Maybe not physically, but emotionally.  There are many studies that demonstrate how a persons thoughts can improve their physical condition.  Many survivors of life threatening illnesses attest to positive thoughts as an integral part of their healing process.

Rather than looking for evidence that proves New Thought to be inaccurate, spend some time investigating its’ accuracy in your own life.  Begin small.  Start by visualizing insignificant things that you want to manifest into your experience like a blue butterfly.  Visualize it and then notice how butterflies begin to show up everywhere in your life.  Don’t be attached to seeing an actual butterfly.  Be open to pictures, jewelry, etc.  When you see a butterfly, then pick something else.  Notice that what you focus on appears in your life.  Just keep visualizing small insignificant things until you appear.  This will build your belief that what you think about will show up.  With practice you can get bigger and bigger.  Many people attest to this phenomenon but it must be experienced personally to really get it.

Life Coach Matthew Ferry Life Coaching website http://www.matthewferry.com

If you want to watch some videos I’ve done on the process go here:  http://tinyurl.com/269smhk

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Why Some Succeed and Others Don’t

Dated: date May 17, 2010 – 8:00 am

Success is a function of know-how and inner strength.

Most people who study personal development find themselves working on their inner resolve and mastering mindset when good old fashion know-how is what is generally required.

On the other hand, the pragmatic blow-off the inner work and simple focus on getting things done also leads to a glass ceiling.  I’ve coached nearly 500 multimillionaires in my career and I’ve seen that both skill and mindset are needed to succeed.  Each of these aspects takes time to master.

Many successful people have a particular knack for something and so they spend their time developing the mindset that will unlock their courage and tenacity.  Some successful people have an  inner strength that is unparalleled and they have simply picked an endeavor that is interesting and worked to master it.  But those are rare people indeed.

In the end one must master a physical process to hang our success on while simultaneously mastering the inner qualities that will allow us to break free of the habits that hinder our success.

Life Coach Matthew Ferry Life Coaching website http://www.matthewferry.com

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3 Key Words to Radical Happiness

Dated: date May 16, 2010 – 8:00 am

The key words to radical happiness are totally different than most people believe.  There are three specific causes to unhappiness and three words that lead you back to radical happiness.

3 Causes of Unhappiness

Unhappiness is caused by…

1.  Resiting yourself.

2.  Resiting other people.

3.  Resisting your situation.

When you feel negative it is because you are resisting something.  Negativity is the resistance you have to how life actually is.

3 Key Words to Radical Happiness

In order to get out of negativity you must use these three words:

1.  Awareness – if you don’t see The Drunk Monkey in your head resisting, then you will simply be in reaction and not in control of your emotional state.

2.  Acceptance – you are not the ruler of the universe (as much as The Drunk Monkey would like to believe that you are) and no one cares about your opinion or perspective.  Life is just doing its thing.  People are just trying to live life best they can.  Your opinion about them is the source of your suffering.  Acceptance will set you free and get you back to happiness.  But you must go back to #1 and start to see The Drunk Monkey in action and see it’s motives in order to let them go and get to acceptance.

3.  Appreciation – this is the source of joy itself.  When you are in a state of gratitude and appreciation, life feels good and you return to radical happiness.

Life Coach Matthew Ferry Life Coaching website http://www.matthewferry.com

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How To Feel Ridiculous Bliss During Divorce

Dated: date May 15, 2010 – 8:00 am

Divorce can be brutal on you emotionally.  When my first wife divorced me, I was devastated for a couple of years.  Needless to say, back then I did not understand how to feel bliss and all I had was anger, doubt, fear, disappointment and hurt feelings.

That was 14 years ago and it was the catalyst for a profound transformation in my life.  I’ve sought bliss and found it.  Since then, I’ve supported many of my clients through the process of divorce.  In my program Creating Relationship Ecstasy (which is included in my Inspired Action Weekly Program) I mapped out the process in great detail.  So the question is, can you experience bliss while in the middle of your spouse divorcing you?

The Cost of Ridiculous Bliss During Divorce

You can’t just snap your fingers and have Ridiculous Bliss during divorce.  It’s going to cost you some very valuable emotional attachments.  The Drunk Monkey is very greedy and operates from fear and you will have to confront the illusions it has created and give them up.

The cost of bliss in the middle of divorce is the cost of righteousness. You’re going to have to give up that you’re right and that your spouse is wrong.   If you are not able to acknowledge the validity of your spouse’s reasoning, then you will not feel bliss.

Another cost is going to be the cost of being a victim.  You are going to have to let go of the idea that your spouse is screwing you over and that you are being victimized and that he/she is ruining your life.  You will have to give up the BS story that he/she is causing your life harm. They’re not causing your life harm, they’re simply leaving. And then, you have to deal with that.

Another cost is going to be irresponsibility. You’re going to have to admit that you were part of this process, that you were part of why the person is leaving and that you are equally responsible for the situation turning out the way that it is.

If you are willing to deal with those costs, then you can find yourself back to bliss and get to a place where you start to feel good, feel happy, feel powerful again. Until you are willing to give up these things and submit these costs, you’re going to feel victimized, feel like you are being attacked and believe that your life is being ruined and that things are no good, and that you have no control, that you’re a powerless victim. And, none of these things are the truth and all of those things will make you feel miserable and upset.

Divorce is An Opportunity

You absolutely can feel bliss in the middle of your divorce if you begin to examine or look at your divorce as an opportunity. Begin to dream about possibilities.  Realize that you are now going to grow.  Know that you’re going to the next level. The next phase is beginning. You’re going to have new choices, new opportunities and new possibilities that are going to arise for you out of this.

Breakdown is the beginning of breakthrough.  If you will stay present to that future and what it means and what you can create out of this, you can go into more exuberant, joyous states.

Life Coach Matthew Ferry Life Coaching website http://www.matthewferry.com

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What To Do When Things Don’t Manifest

Dated: date May 14, 2010 – 8:00 am

I’m sitting in row 20 seat E.  That’s the middle seat at the back of the plane.  This morning, not knowing what seat my assistant had booked me for this trip I wrote in my intentions, rather spontaneously, “I am so thankful to the universe for providing me with first class seats on the way up and back to Seattle this week… or something better!”

This isn’t normally something I spend too much time manifesting as I practice being in a state of Ridiculous Bliss where ever I am, regardless of the circumstances.  But I know what my clients would say, “Where is your manifesting now, Mr. Smarty Pants?”  The answer is easy and complex.

The easy answer is that something better is on its way and at this very moment I have no idea what it is.  The complex answer is that this situation is apparently better for all.  Now that I say it, I can see that I am writing about this experience, which is a contribution to the global understanding of The Law of Attraction and the power to manifest.  It’s also giving me a a chance to be in a state of perfection as I’m squished into my seat, elbows tucked tightly into my sides computer screen tilted slightly down so that I can barely see it because the person in front of me has their seat all the way back.

The complex answer is that I cannot possibly understand the state of perfection that I’m in.  The Drunk Monkey in my head has only my five senses to bring in information to which it correlates its past experiences and comes up with a hypothesis, a hallucination about what this moment is and what it will be.  The truth is much broader and more expansive then I could ever possibly imagine.  The Drunk Monkey can only speculate that because its expectations have been broken and that the seat is less comfortable then other seating arrangements, that something must be wrong and NOW is not good.

If I allow The Drunk Monkey to run the show I don’t feel good.  Instead, I  meditate, focus on what I’m grateful for, appreciate the design of the plane, appreciate the backs of the heads that I can see, notice how interesting the two very “engrossed in their own stuff” people are to my left and right.  I will find the joy in this moment via the most powerful state I know… Appreciation.  When I stay committed to being in a good place no matter what the circumstances are, everything turns out better than The Drunk Monkey could have imagined.

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