What makes you nervous? Usually it is some future The Drunk Monkey in your head is obsessing over. The way to get relaxed is to see it for what it is. The Drunk Monkey in your head, all that talking, is just trying to keep you alive longer by avoiding potentially negative experiences. This is great! Good Job Monkey! The problem happens when it fantasizes about negative futures that don’t even exist. Or when it compares you to some elusive set of standards that don’t exist. Here’s an example:
Lately The Drunk Monkey, my mind, has been telling me that I need to write a new book now and get it published. That if I don’t do this I will lose some elusive window of opportunity. The Drunk Monkey has been saying, “You need to pick your subject and do it or you’ll just be a nobody for the rest of your life!” As you can imagine, lately I’ve felt a little anxious.
The Drunk Monkey has been holding me accountable to some standard that doesn’t exist. Probably because my brother, Tom Ferry, just signed a big publishing deal and is gung ho and excited about it. The Drunk Monkey is comparing me to him and saying, “If he does it, then you better do it or you will really be a nobody!”
Here’s what I say to The Drunk Monkey so that I can relax and let it flow again. “Drunk Monkey, have you seen my life? I’ve got a lot of amazing things happening right now. I’ve got A B C D (I make a big list) and all of those things are awesome! Could I write a book? Yes! Probably 4 different books at this moment! But am I in the book business? No!! I’m in the coaching business. I’m building my coaching company Monkey!!! Hello!! Very different business. Drunk Monkey, when the time is right, I promise to write you a book so you can be big and famous and have millions of adoring fans. In the mean time I’ going to enjoy every minute of my current objectives!”
So what is that? Get real about what is working now. What you like now. What makes you happy now. Don’t let The Drunk Monkey cause you stress by fantasizing that the future is bleak. Don’t let The Drunk Monkey hold you accountable to things that aren’t even real or important. Be clear on what you want and what you are committed too.
Try the 10/10 visualization everyday. That always helps you stay in a good place.