Anger is Not a Choice

istock_000001624654smallMost powerful people mistakenly believe that anger is a choice.  With further examination and attention to the matter you will see that the body reacts to potential threats automatically.  To control the answer and turn it into something positive you need to do the following:

a.  Notice the body reacting negatively.  Most positive people avoid negative feelings.  A more powerful thing to do is to feel them completely to understand the feeling.  Rather than resisting it or denying it, feel it fully from a detached observer point of view.

b.  Step back and see the whole situation.  See the upsetting situation from all points of view and notice that the anger, fear etc dissipates quickly.

In the anger is automatic.  Happiness, peace, joy and all the other positive emotions are chosen.

Meet The Spiritual Drunk Monkey

monkey_swimsuit_smiling_lg_whtYesterday I wrote about people using spirituality to cover up the negative aspects of their life.  See post here.  Today I want to address another stop to happiness, “The Spiritual Drunk Monkey”.

This is a very simple concept that causes many “spiritually evolved” people to have sucky lives (aka:  I put on a happy facade to cover up my discontent).

As some point The Drunk Monkey begins to use spirituality as a survival tool.  It recognizes that you are committed to a spiritual path and then begins to use spirituality to make you right and others wrong.  The chatter in your head changes its tune and starts to sound something like this, “Spiritual people are the right people and non-spiritual people are the wrong people.”  This is just more of the same monkey madness that makes life not functional.  By the way, your opinion is the source of all your suffering.

Ultimately spirituality is a matter of surrender and acceptance which will ultimately eliminate negative emotions and fear.  Therefore, if you experience any negative feelings around ideas like, “My family just doesn’t get my spirituality!” or “People just don’t get how much more powerful it is to be spiritual.”  then you are not in a state of surrender and acceptance.  These are statements of fear.

Give up the spiritual Drunk Monkey today.  Let non-spiritual types be the way they are with no opinion one way or the other.  Stop reacting to death, destruction, people being treated poorly and all the other things in the world that contradict The Drunk Monkey’s opinion.  Try it for a day and see what happens.

I dare you to accept that which you can not accept.

Why Do Many Spiritual Types Have Sucky Lives?

Ugh!Because of the nature of my training and coaching programs, many of my clients come to me with a very spiritual perspective on things.  The promise of a spiritual perspective is that you will feel more connected, more loved, more joyous, and feel a sense of oneness.  Yet, many spiritual people DO NOT have an abundance of these experiences.  In fact, most of the spiritual people I meet have pretty sucky lives.  And guess what, I’ve been there too.  Here’s why.

There is a myth perpetuated by the misunderstanding of ancient spiritual text that you must withdraw from life in order to be spiritual.  The whole, “Poverty is more spiritual” things is a total misperception.

Adopting a more spiritual perspective simply means that you are focusing less on action and more on how you experience that action.  In other words, spiritual people investigate the non-material or experiential aspects of life.  But that doesn’t mean you give up the material aspects.  Can you?  Yes.  This is classically called “The Pathway of Negation”  Which is great if you plan to be a monk.

Most spiritual people are just normal peeps living normal lives.  Most have engaged spirituality as a way of enhancing their experience.   Being a monk is generally not an option or even a desire.  Yet, spiritual types often buy into this idea of “less is more” in a destructive way.  Lemme explain.

Most spiritual types are not being honest about why they are spiritual in the first place.  Many are using spirituality as a way of reducing the amount of negative experiences they have in life.  Like a tool for fixing their broken life.  On the other hand, many use their spiritual practice to have enhance their life including family, relationships, work, hobbies and various other interests.  They are not willing to give all these things up and be a monk.  So here’s the misfire.  Often they are so focused on being spiritual that they forget about being sure their life functions effectively. I know I’ve made the mistake of believing that being spiritual will make everything in life work out. “Just go with the flow dude!” I would think to myself.  Unfortunately, the exact opposite is the case.  If you don’t work on having your life work, then it won’t.  No matter how happy you are during the process.  Your life will still suck.

Here’s another mistake I used to make.  I would use my spiritual tools to maintain happiness because my life was messed up.  NEWS FLASH!  When your life works, you don’t have to use your spiritual tools to be happy in miserable situations.  You can just be happy and love your life.  If your life doesn’t work, then you are constantly using your spiritual tools to maintain happiness in situations that most people would be miserable in.

If this describes you, cut it out.  Get back in action and make your life work.  Which is not a spiritual process.  That is a functional process.  Do this and your spirituality will be 1000 times more pleasurable because you won’t have to use your tools to cover up your unhappiness.  You’ll simply be happy and then use your tools to be even happier.  Okay?

Yo!  Spiritual Peeps!  Be as committed to having a life that works as you are to practicing spirituality and you will live an extraordinary life.  FYI  God/Spirit/Universe wants that for you.

Are You Willing to Take a Stand?

Sometimes you have to take a stand for what you believe in. Sometimes the entire structure of your life is fighting against your deepest desire. These moments of extreme resistance, breakdown and depression are actually transition points from one type of living to the next.

New life come with a hefty price. It is destructive. Your old life will fight back, push you down and tell you that you can’t have what you want.

In those moments you must learn to tame The Drunk Monkey and take a stand for what you believe is possible. It’s not easy, it’s not effortless and it’s not enjoyable. It’s scary and hard. But the reward of your new life is worth the temporary pain and destruction. So go for it.

Are you willing to take a stand for the life you want?

Freedom Comes from Discipline

Most think that if I am truly being free, then I can do what ever I want.  Nope!  That is being a slave to your wants.  Your wants are almost always a reaction to something from the past.  Your wants are usually about NOT being something, NOT doing something or NOT being dominated by something.

True freedom comes out of discipline.  The discipline of observing The Drunk Monkey (your mind) and not allowing its fear to run your life.  The discipline of seeing The Drunk Monkey for what it really is.  These two disciplines give you the freedom to choose thoughts and perceptions that support your true desires.  Once you are clear about your true desires/purpose you must begin to do battle with all the habits that are not giving you what you really want out of life.

To break the habits that you created out of the fear of not fitting in, trying to look good, and all the other hallucinated survival tactics, you must exert discipline.  The Drunk Monkey habitually pulls you back to the familiar.  The familiar is a set of entrenched habits that currently has you trapped in the life you are living.

To live the life of your dreams takes massive discipline.

Prosperity Leads to Money

istock_000001909034small1Most people believe that once they have money, they will be prosperous.  The opposite is true.

Prosperous is defined as  a successful, flourishing, or thriving condition.  That has nothing to do with money.  The question is, “Can I get into a prosperous state now?”  What do you need to let go of?  In the Inspired Action Coaching Program we ask, “What misperception about yourself, others and the world has you not feeling successful, flourishing and thriving now?”

When you get into a prosperous state of mind, it leads you to money-making opportunities.  You are more effective at your job.  You are more open to new ideas.  You feel safe, secure and happy.  Money finds people in this condition.

Here’s something simple you can do to feel more prosperous now.  Make a list of 10 things that are amazing in your life.  What are you grateful for?  What are you happy about?  What is working in your life?  This list will help you to connect to your prosperous state.  Do it now and notice the shift in your state of mind.

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