As a life coach, I am confronted with this question on a daily basis, “How can I feel more happiness and peace in my life now?” The answer is simple but most people don’t like the answer. “Grow up!” Now I’m not trying to be sarcastic or condescending, hear me out on this one. Most people are still utilizing behaviors they learned in kindergarten and on the play ground as their tools for success. And guess what? It ain’t workin’.
Your so called “Inner Child” isn’t so inner after all. In fact, it’s quite outer. One of the most important steps towards happiness and peace is giving up the behaviors you adopted as a child in favor of more conscious, responsible and adult solutions.
Here are 19 ways your inner child messes up your life and ensures you don’t experience happiness and peace. I’ve listed them in a couple of blogs.
1. Self-pity. Why me? I’m a victim. If life was different, then I would be able to be happy!
2. Jealousy. Being attached to people will make your life miserable. People will do what ever they do and all you can do is manage your promises, commitments and attitude towards them. Managing their behavior will only annoy you.
3. Envy. The Drunk Monkey (your mind) declares, “Now is wrong. It will be better when you have that stuff over there.” You will never arrive. You will never have it all. We coach people who make hundreds of millions of dollars and they still believe that someday it will all be better when they have more stuff.
4. Competitiveness. No one is competing with you. Everyone is trying to get ahead in a world were all the measurements are figments of your imagination. To compete is to say that there is a way you can be a loser. You never lose, you just learn.
5. Temper tantrums. Manipulating people with your anger is something all children learn to do early on. To continue to use it into adulthood is a guaranteed way to create suffering for you and others. Most people will opt to not deal with you. Your life will be small. You may succeed but your life will be small as in shallow.
6. Emotional Outbursts. Same thing as above. If you use this as your way of getting what you want, then you will have a life filled with conflict, struggle, anger and doubt. You will feel lonely your whole life and not really know why.