20 ways you make your life SUCK!! (part 6)

Dated: date November 25, 2008 – 11:45 am

You are powerful beyond measure.  You have the power to create the life of your dreams.  But The Drunk Monkey in your head is not designed to move you forward.  It’s designed to make sure you stay the same.

Here are two more ways you make sure your life sucks.

11.  Breaking people’s expectations. 

Here’s the crazy part.  People have expectations of you that you have not even agreed to.  Is that bad?  No.  But you need to be aware of what people are expecting of you and either complete it or get clear with them what to expect from you.

For example.  When my wife and I first moved in with each other, she expected me to take out the trash because at her house, the man always took out the trash.  Well, at my house, my mom always took out the trash.  She was slightly annoyed by this for a few months and I couldn’t figure out what was going on.  I finally got her communication and decided to take on the trash.  I do it because I love her and I want her to be comfortable.

12.  Being a victim. 

Think about the above scenario.  I could have easily been a victim.  “Why is she such a b*** about this?  I don’t want to take out the trash!”  My resistance to the situation would have made it worse.  Why bother being a victim.  Just go with it.

Life comes at you full force.  You are born an orphan, your lover leaves you, you get fired, your car gets stolen.  So what!  Life is just lifing along.  In my Transforming Fear into Action webinar I teach people the process of creating a new context to be empowered in any situation.

Consider watching some of my videos on youtube on the topic of The Drunk Monkey today.  It will help you get out of victim mode and into empowered mode now.

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20 ways you make your life SUCK!! (part 5)

Dated: date November 24, 2008 – 10:35 am

“It’s not me, it’s my circumstances!” most people say.  Wrong.  Two people can be in the exact same circumstances and have a completely different experience and get completely different results.

Here are two more ways that you make your life suck (code for “not the way you want”)

9.  Being selfishly focused. 

All suffering is a self-centered focus.  If your focus is on others, you feel great.  When you are making a difference for others, you have energy.  As you contribute to the people in your life, you will naturally accelerate.  What comes around, goes around.  The more you give, the more you receive.

10.  Listening to The Drunk Monkey. 

Your mind, the chatter in your head, the ego, and your personality is not designed for productivity and happiness.  I call my mind chatter The Drunk Monkey.  If you listen to the chatter in your head you will see that it is all about survival.  Gain, acquisition and looking good are the things The Drunk Monkey rambles on about.  Actually the lack of it is more accurate.  Get out of your head and your life won’t suck at all.  If fact, the biggest blessing any human can receive is a reduction in the mind chatter.

Today just notice how there are two people in your head.  The one talking and the one listening.  Notice how you listen and “it” talks.  The more you notice that you are the listener and not the talker, the more peaceful and joyous you will feel.  Try it.

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20 ways you make your life SUCK!! (part 4)

Dated: date November 22, 2008 – 9:50 am

So many people I meet these days are stuck.  They seem to be paralyzed by fear.  Today we continue with the 20 ways you make your life suck (code for “not the way I want it”).

7.  Not doing what you know to do. 

So many people know exactly what to do to have a kick ass life but they don’t do it.

In the Inspired Action Coaching program my coaches and I work with people to discover the actual moment you got stuck.  We call it the Fundamental Misperception.  Some how you have misperceived that the world is dangerous and now The Drunk Monkey (your mind) won’t let you take any risks.

What kind of risks?  New stuff.  No new actions are allowed because new means unknown, and unknown means dangerous to your monkey.  Spend some time thinking about how The Drunk Monkey is convincing you that your productive actions are dangerous and you shouldn’t take them or you will get hurt.  The moment you see how crazy that thinking is, you will be free of is.

8.  Not doing things as they are meant to be done.  Why do you try to get away with things?  Because the think you are doing isn’t fun or interesting to you.  Consider your life is dictated by guilt and obligation.  Consider you don’t do what makes your heart sing.  Probably because you don’t know what makes your heart sing.

Let me help you.  Download a copy of my Discovering Your True Purpose Workbook and then let go of doing things you don’t want to do.  It makes you unhappy and you end up not doing it as it is meant to be done.

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20 ways you make your life SUCK!! (part 3)

Dated: date November 21, 2008 – 10:57 am

Let’s keep it going.  Here are two more ways you make your life suck (code for “not the way you want it”).

After coaching more then 8300 people to achieve happiness and peace which leads them to success in all areas of life, I can tell you with absolute certainty that these two will make your life TOTALLY SUCK!!!

5.  Making a promise, deciding not to do it and then not telling the people involved that you aren’t going to do what you said.  People are so weird.  The clients I work with actually believe that they don’t matter.  That their promises aren’t that important.  But when people are counting on you, even in the smallest way, and you don’t deliver???  And then you don’t even bother telling anyone that you aren’t going to deliver?!?!  Nothing kills your reputation faster.

Even the smallest little insignificant promise not fulfilled sticks in peoples minds.  It’s how we are all wired.  We don’t want to make the same mistake twice.  So if you don’t deliver and don’t even communicate that you aren’t going to deliver, then the people around you relate to you as unreliable.

All opportunities are related to people.  Opportunities come to people who are reliable.  If you don’t have the opportunities that you want in life, consider you have a lot of broken promises that you have never taken responsibility for.

Get out there and tell the people who are counting on you that you aren’t going to do what you said.  That way you give them an opportunity to exercise other options.

6.  Cutting corners.  If you cut corners, everyone knows.  You know.  If you cut corners, then people don’t trust you as much as you like to think they do.  If you cut corners, then you don’t trust yourself either.  You know you won’t take big risks becuase you know you will not do things as they are meant to be done.  If you cut corners, you confine yourself to a life of mediocrity.

Two things.  One: stop making promises to do stuff you don’t want to do; things that are a drag.  You likely cut cornerrs because you don’t enjoy doing what you have committed to.  Two: take on each action as a way of honoring yourself and the others involved.  Make each action your masterpiece.

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20 Ways you make your life SUCK!! (part 2)

Dated: date November 20, 2008 – 3:01 pm

Yesterday I started writing about this idea of guaranteed ways to make your life suck (code for “not the way I want it to be”).

Here is number three and four:

3.  Being reactive and hostile. 

Nothing pushes people away faster then being reactive and hostile.  Your life works in relationship with others.

The Drunk Monkey (your mind) has one job.  To keep you alive.  If you listen to your mind you will be reactive and hostile.  Why?  Because The Drunk Monkey’s job is to look for that which might be dangerous and avoid, fix it  or kill it.  The problem is, most of what you encounter daily is not dangerous. In fact, if you get honest, you are living an opulent and amazing life.

Notice how you react in negative ways to people and situations because of something from the past or some hallucination about the future.  Then chose something else.

4.  Not trusting yourself. 

At some point you are going to have to recognize that your life is amazing and that you are lucky.  You would not be reading this post if you weren’t already in the lucky, prosperous, peaceful flow.  In the Inspired Action Coaching program we help people find the source of their mistrust.  Consider this quote from one of my favorite books You2 by Price Pritchett.

“Years ago you accepted false conclusions as correct and began to live your life as if those false ideas about yourself were true.”

Today notice how you are protecting yourself from your own potential stupidity.  Notice how you have mistaken screwing things up for “bad”.  Screwing things up is just learning.  You are not the all knowing, all seeing being of the universe.  Therefore you will screw things up.  Not trusting yourself is just the fear that you will do things wrong.  And you will do things wrong.  Begin to relate to life as if you are a student.

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20 ways YOU make your life SUCK!! (part 1)

Dated: date November 19, 2008 – 12:43 pm

Is it the world or is it you?  If your life sucks (code for “not the way you want it”), then I guarantee it’s your fault.

After coaching more then 8300 people to achieve happiness, which leads to success, I have had a front row seat to profound self imposed misery.  Over the next week or so I’m going to share 20 ways you make sure your life sucks.  It will be fun, confronting and provocative.  I would love your feedback and comments.

1.  Hiding things from people.

Any time I have a client who is complaining that their life is not what they want, I start digging around for things they are trying to hide from others.  Are you hiding the way you really feel about someone?  Are you trying to get away with something?  If you are, your projects will slow.  Your motivation will drain.  Your dreams will get unfocused and you that creates fear.  Fear makes your life suck.

2.  Not being truthful and honest.

About what you really want.  About what you are trying to accomplish.  So many people we starting working with are not honest about their job.  They hate it and pretend to be trapped by it.  Infidelity.  White lies.  Not saying what you really mean.  All of this is based on the same erroneous notion that you are not safe and you must lie to protect yourself.  This is an illusion.  The truth will set you free, but first it pisses you off.

Today notice any place in your life that you are hiding the truth or just flat out lying.  Notice all the extra work it creates.  True freedom is being totally open and honest at all times.

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